When I moved my family back to Wisconsin in 1976, I decided to make the transition as easy as possible for me. I knew there would be adjustments but I wanted some continuity in my life. When we arrived, life seemed to be shutting down for the winter. I needed to have a little bit of sunshine from time to time.
People often asked me how I could move from California to Wisconsin. I tried to explain it by telling them that in Wisconsin, ones goes from a heated house to a heated car to a heated work place. In California ones goes from an air-conditioned house to an air-conditioned car to an air-conditioned work place. It has nothing to do with the climate; it is all about the people. It doesn't make any difference where you live; it is about the people that you meet.
One of the first things that I did was to go to Mason's Flower shop and make a deal with them. Every Monday morning they would deliver a small floral arrangement to my office and bill me monthly.
One Monday morning a salesman was sitting there when the flowers arrived. He made a comment about how wonderful it was to be getting flowers. I told him that I got them every week from my best friend. I don't know what he thought about that but it was true; I was my very best friend at that time. I hadn't really gotten to know anyone else outside of my family.
Unless we love ourselves, we can't expect others to love us? I know that sounds narcissistic but it is necessary to feel good about ourselves. If we are expecting other people to love us and make us happy, we haven't read the book because it doesn't work that way.
It is the same with anything that we have. If we want someone to buy our house, then we had better love it and make sure that it is full of love when it is shown to buyers. How about selling a car? If you don't like that car, it will be evident to anyone around. This stuff is tangible!
How about the rule that there is only one person of the opposite sex meant for you? That certainly would be nice but it has not been my experience. When you are lucky enough to find someone that you can have fun with, who makes you smile and you feel good around, you are truly blessed. I have met a few who have made me feel special and some who bring out the best in me, but to expect one person to do it all, is a hard find and if you do, my hat is off to you. My friend, Dorothy talks about this a lot. She tells me that is why she has such a variety of friends. No one person can do it all.
Some people need others around them all the time to make them feel good. I find that rather sad because there are times when we need to know that we can have a good time just being a one-some instead of always a two-some. It is important to enjoy your own company. I know a person who can never be without sound in his life. Day or night he has sound, the TV, the radio, his cell phone, always something to distract him from being with himself. How do you learn about self in a crowd of noises?
Being in love is a special thing. Most of us want this to "be in-love" with someone else. It is OK to just be in love. Find something that makes you laugh. Find something that makes you happy. I would even settle for "pleased" at times.
Love is all around us but we tend to see only the ordinary/unlovable. What can we find to love in this world? How about loving the robin outside the window? How about loving the way the shadows fall on the newly cut grass? How about just loving the fact that we are alive and able to love? I find that I just enjoying feelings, an "In Love" situation is a wonderful feeling.
Why would someone not like themselves? Maybe someone has told them that they are unlovable or they did something that makes them have that feeling. That can be turned around very easily. Find something that you love about yourself. How about the color of your eyes? How about the feeling you get when you hear certain music? We were created in love, therefore we are lovable.
A long time ago, I figured out that Love is the glue that holds the universe together so we all have to do our part. Love something today!
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Vehicles
Lately I have been thinking about the cars that I have known. I know, it should be about the people that I have known but cars are interesting.
One time I sat outside of the place where I worked and watched all the vehicles go by on the freeway. What an interesting concept. They are a lot like people. They come in various shapes and sizes. While I was watching I saw a big truck go by followed by a very small car. Then there was the snazzy expensive car going around the pickup truck. They come in all colors and conditions too. Some cars are so well taken care of and others are so beaten up.
What they all have in common is that there is an intelligent being (Hopefully) sitting the in driver's seat in command of where it is going. A vehicle really is just an artificial body. The purpose is to get the intelligent being from one place to another faster than they can in the flesh body that they inhabit.
All the cars that I have known seem to have a personality that goes along with their looks. Like pets, I have named the ones that I have known personally. I remember a really hot,red-Dodge Dart that had trouble keeping it under 70 miles per hour. I rented her to a guy that wanted something to take him to Phoenix. I told him that she was spunky. (In the early '70's, I managed an Avis franchise.)
Avis story: I had a middle aged French couple come in and all I had was standard shifting vehicles left on the lot. They didn't speak any English. They showed me that they wanted to go to Yosemite so in pantomime, I showed them how to use a standard shift. When they drove off the lot, I followed them. When they got stuck in the middle of an intersection, I parked and showed them again how to let up on the clutch while applying the gas and shift gears. I followed them for a few more blocks until I was sure that they were going to be all right. I did this hoping that someone would do this for my parents when they were traveling somewhere that didn't understand English.
How about the little blue Sprite? Larry and I went to Las Vegas in one that we had in the early '60s. Going from Los Angeles to Las Vegas, one climbs into the high desert. We were going to meet my sister Donna and her husband there. Now in the high desert at night in the wintertime, it gets really cold and this little car had a heater that got smaller and smaller as we traveled. I remember reaching behind the seats into the back of the vehicle and opening the suitcases to pull out our bathing towels to stuff in the braces of the soft top and then pull our bathrobes out to put around us. We joked that when we got there someone would have to chip us out of this little car. This Sprite was so funny; we played tag with trucks all the way there. We would zip up a hill and pass a truck, then on the downhill side they would go flying by us.
Automobiles have become a symbol of independence. For many years, when I was in California we only had one car, a station wagon to take all the things one needed for our family. When Larry was gone, I would be at home without the freedom to do anything. So he got a car for me. It was an old pink Cadillac. Remember the fins and the long fronts on these cars? They were a challenge because one never was sure how far from the building you were parking. You couldn't see where the back or the front ended, but it took my kids and my neighbors, along with their kids to the lake north of Merced many times.
Larry drove a Blue VW bug when Loren was very little. So whenever Loren saw a VW bug, he called it a Daddy Car. And it was. He carried a VW bug Hot-Wheels (small toy car) with him in his pocket. When Blaine was old enough he always had a different Hot-Wheels car in each of his pockets.
My father had Dodge vehicles because the Dodge dealer in Shawano was a friend of his. Dad had Dodge trucks for his business. One of Dad's theories was that people like to deal with successful people. So every three years he traded in his car and got a new one.
I can say that I am personally responsible for damaging one of these vehicles twice. Once I had a car full of girls that was being chased by a car full of boys and I went around a corner too closely. We pulled the fender out and Dad was somewhat understanding. The second time that I damaged this same car, I had to pay for it. In that case, I had used the extra space that a fire hydrant takes up to do my parallel parking. The hydrant in from of Koepsels store was really leaning out into the street (the whole sidewalk was sitting at a 30 degree angle) and as I backed in to the spot behind it, I heard a screech as it sliding down the side of the car. It looked like it had been keyed on the passenger's side.
Do we give more attention to our cars than we do to people? When I first married Vern, his sister-in-law told me that he had washed the paint off his first car. I believe that because Vern likes to have everything he owns look just so.
What do our cars say about us? Some people have cars that are always clean inside and out. Other cars look like they belong to a person who is living out of them.
I have never owned a new car but I remember the smell that my Dad's cars had. When I was working for him, he wanted me to have a new company car. Somehow that didn't work for me. As a divorced woman, I needed to have my own things. Having my own car did that for me. Plus I had a teenager and I didn't want to be responsible for a company car with her driving.
One day when I first came back to Wisconsin from California, I left the office for lunch and drove out to a stop sign. It was winter and icy but I was being very careful. While waiting for the light to turn green, I watched a car that was spinning out of control coming over the hill in my direction. My first reaction was to slam my car into reverse and get out of the trajectory. I looked behind and there was someone sitting right behind me so I couldn't shift gears. I crossed my hands over the steering wheel, put my face into them and waited. The car hit, knocking all the windows out of the other car. There was an old man in it and without windows; he would be cold waiting for the police, which another person had called. My right front fender was damaged but I was warm and cozy. I told him to get into my car while we waited. He was so upset and worried. He was sure that he would lose his license to drive. (Remember this is a sign of independence. We all want this for as long as we can hold on to it) I'm not sure if he did or did not lose his license but when I went back to work, my co-workers wanted to know what had happened to my car. I told them that I do anything these days to meet men and I met a really nice one from Gillette.
When I got custody of my Mother because Dad died and Mother had a mild case of Alzheimer's, (they called it Sundowning because she became very upset at dusk.) Mother went with me all the time. It was like having another child to watch. For a while she had complained that she never got to drive anymore. So one day when we were at Walgreens, about 4 blocks from our house, I asked her if she would mind driving home because I had a terrible headache. It was early afternoon and the traffic was nothing. She got into the driver's seat and drove us home. She drove straddling the center line at about 5 to 7 miles per hour. I didn't say anything but just allowed her to do this. After that experience, she never asked to drive again. When I told Vern about this, he couldn't believe what I had done this. He brings it up from time to time even now. Mother had been driving since she was a teenager on her parents farm so not driving was a very important loss.
Cars don't seem that important to me as they seem to be for others. I feel that I am driving for everyone around me when I go out. I even mention to others that in every vehicle you see on the road, there is a person on some drug sitting in the driver's seat. Sure it might be just an aspirin but everyone is on something. There are very few people who are not taking some drug at this time.
So a really good day for me is to do all my errands on my bike and not take my car out of the garage. When I have to drive for a long ways, I find myself getting worn out just driving. I have even taken people to appointments and after driving them home, I have to give myself a pep talk to get home myself. Sometimes my car sits in the garage for almost a week without being driven. This is one of the nice things about living in a very small town.
When my son was trying to talk me into getting a computer, he mentioned that he understood my feelings about artificial intelligence. He felt that it was similar to my feelings about artificial bodies (Cars), artificial flowers, even prints of paintings. Boy,what does that say about me if I can only have the real thing?
One time I sat outside of the place where I worked and watched all the vehicles go by on the freeway. What an interesting concept. They are a lot like people. They come in various shapes and sizes. While I was watching I saw a big truck go by followed by a very small car. Then there was the snazzy expensive car going around the pickup truck. They come in all colors and conditions too. Some cars are so well taken care of and others are so beaten up.
What they all have in common is that there is an intelligent being (Hopefully) sitting the in driver's seat in command of where it is going. A vehicle really is just an artificial body. The purpose is to get the intelligent being from one place to another faster than they can in the flesh body that they inhabit.
All the cars that I have known seem to have a personality that goes along with their looks. Like pets, I have named the ones that I have known personally. I remember a really hot,red-Dodge Dart that had trouble keeping it under 70 miles per hour. I rented her to a guy that wanted something to take him to Phoenix. I told him that she was spunky. (In the early '70's, I managed an Avis franchise.)
Avis story: I had a middle aged French couple come in and all I had was standard shifting vehicles left on the lot. They didn't speak any English. They showed me that they wanted to go to Yosemite so in pantomime, I showed them how to use a standard shift. When they drove off the lot, I followed them. When they got stuck in the middle of an intersection, I parked and showed them again how to let up on the clutch while applying the gas and shift gears. I followed them for a few more blocks until I was sure that they were going to be all right. I did this hoping that someone would do this for my parents when they were traveling somewhere that didn't understand English.
How about the little blue Sprite? Larry and I went to Las Vegas in one that we had in the early '60s. Going from Los Angeles to Las Vegas, one climbs into the high desert. We were going to meet my sister Donna and her husband there. Now in the high desert at night in the wintertime, it gets really cold and this little car had a heater that got smaller and smaller as we traveled. I remember reaching behind the seats into the back of the vehicle and opening the suitcases to pull out our bathing towels to stuff in the braces of the soft top and then pull our bathrobes out to put around us. We joked that when we got there someone would have to chip us out of this little car. This Sprite was so funny; we played tag with trucks all the way there. We would zip up a hill and pass a truck, then on the downhill side they would go flying by us.
Automobiles have become a symbol of independence. For many years, when I was in California we only had one car, a station wagon to take all the things one needed for our family. When Larry was gone, I would be at home without the freedom to do anything. So he got a car for me. It was an old pink Cadillac. Remember the fins and the long fronts on these cars? They were a challenge because one never was sure how far from the building you were parking. You couldn't see where the back or the front ended, but it took my kids and my neighbors, along with their kids to the lake north of Merced many times.
Larry drove a Blue VW bug when Loren was very little. So whenever Loren saw a VW bug, he called it a Daddy Car. And it was. He carried a VW bug Hot-Wheels (small toy car) with him in his pocket. When Blaine was old enough he always had a different Hot-Wheels car in each of his pockets.
My father had Dodge vehicles because the Dodge dealer in Shawano was a friend of his. Dad had Dodge trucks for his business. One of Dad's theories was that people like to deal with successful people. So every three years he traded in his car and got a new one.
I can say that I am personally responsible for damaging one of these vehicles twice. Once I had a car full of girls that was being chased by a car full of boys and I went around a corner too closely. We pulled the fender out and Dad was somewhat understanding. The second time that I damaged this same car, I had to pay for it. In that case, I had used the extra space that a fire hydrant takes up to do my parallel parking. The hydrant in from of Koepsels store was really leaning out into the street (the whole sidewalk was sitting at a 30 degree angle) and as I backed in to the spot behind it, I heard a screech as it sliding down the side of the car. It looked like it had been keyed on the passenger's side.
Do we give more attention to our cars than we do to people? When I first married Vern, his sister-in-law told me that he had washed the paint off his first car. I believe that because Vern likes to have everything he owns look just so.
What do our cars say about us? Some people have cars that are always clean inside and out. Other cars look like they belong to a person who is living out of them.
I have never owned a new car but I remember the smell that my Dad's cars had. When I was working for him, he wanted me to have a new company car. Somehow that didn't work for me. As a divorced woman, I needed to have my own things. Having my own car did that for me. Plus I had a teenager and I didn't want to be responsible for a company car with her driving.
One day when I first came back to Wisconsin from California, I left the office for lunch and drove out to a stop sign. It was winter and icy but I was being very careful. While waiting for the light to turn green, I watched a car that was spinning out of control coming over the hill in my direction. My first reaction was to slam my car into reverse and get out of the trajectory. I looked behind and there was someone sitting right behind me so I couldn't shift gears. I crossed my hands over the steering wheel, put my face into them and waited. The car hit, knocking all the windows out of the other car. There was an old man in it and without windows; he would be cold waiting for the police, which another person had called. My right front fender was damaged but I was warm and cozy. I told him to get into my car while we waited. He was so upset and worried. He was sure that he would lose his license to drive. (Remember this is a sign of independence. We all want this for as long as we can hold on to it) I'm not sure if he did or did not lose his license but when I went back to work, my co-workers wanted to know what had happened to my car. I told them that I do anything these days to meet men and I met a really nice one from Gillette.
When I got custody of my Mother because Dad died and Mother had a mild case of Alzheimer's, (they called it Sundowning because she became very upset at dusk.) Mother went with me all the time. It was like having another child to watch. For a while she had complained that she never got to drive anymore. So one day when we were at Walgreens, about 4 blocks from our house, I asked her if she would mind driving home because I had a terrible headache. It was early afternoon and the traffic was nothing. She got into the driver's seat and drove us home. She drove straddling the center line at about 5 to 7 miles per hour. I didn't say anything but just allowed her to do this. After that experience, she never asked to drive again. When I told Vern about this, he couldn't believe what I had done this. He brings it up from time to time even now. Mother had been driving since she was a teenager on her parents farm so not driving was a very important loss.
Cars don't seem that important to me as they seem to be for others. I feel that I am driving for everyone around me when I go out. I even mention to others that in every vehicle you see on the road, there is a person on some drug sitting in the driver's seat. Sure it might be just an aspirin but everyone is on something. There are very few people who are not taking some drug at this time.
So a really good day for me is to do all my errands on my bike and not take my car out of the garage. When I have to drive for a long ways, I find myself getting worn out just driving. I have even taken people to appointments and after driving them home, I have to give myself a pep talk to get home myself. Sometimes my car sits in the garage for almost a week without being driven. This is one of the nice things about living in a very small town.
When my son was trying to talk me into getting a computer, he mentioned that he understood my feelings about artificial intelligence. He felt that it was similar to my feelings about artificial bodies (Cars), artificial flowers, even prints of paintings. Boy,what does that say about me if I can only have the real thing?
Saturday, August 4, 2007
The Awakening
Due to the nature of my Dad's business, we went on vacation in the wintertime. In Spring and Summer, Wisconsin is getting ready for and bombarded with tourists, one of our main sources of income. So every winter our family would go on vacation.
One year we took off and headed to Texas. There was Grandpa Charlie, Grandma Nellie, Mom and Dad along with the three of us, girls. Dad had purchased a one bedroom trailer that was about 20 feet long to haul behind our car. This trailer had a living room/dining room, small kitchen and a separate bedroom on the end with a double bed in it.
Grandpa and Grandma were given the bedroom. Mom and Dad had the living room with its davenport that made into a bed. The three of us had sleeping bags that went on the floor in the rest of the living room when the table had been collapsed and moved into the kitchen. It all worked out.
When we got to Texas; Donna Texas to be exact, we found a trailer court and parked under the trees. This trailer court was in a grove of grapefruit trees so we were surrounded by them. There was a large bathroom/shower building nearby made of cement blocks. The sun was shining and life was great.
Mom and Dad had decided that they wanted to go to Mexico City so after a couple of days, they took off. By this time Grandpa and Grandma had gotten acquainted with some of the other people in the park and could get around without having a car of their own. Someone would take Grandpa to the store if we needed something.
As for us, girls…well, we were pretty much on our own. There were a lot of kids in the park that we got to know right away.
The manager of the park told us that we could eat all the grapefruit that we could pick. His only rule was that nothing was to be left on the ground. Grandpa gave me a pocket knife and showed me how to use it so we could cut the fruit up. Grandma gave each of us a spoon of our own to carry in our pocket. We would climb the trees and sit in them eating half a grapefruit while someone else was eating the other half.
We did have one other rule, after lunch we had to spend an hour or sometimes even a little more on our studies. Before we left home, Mom had gone to each of our teachers and told them what we were going to be doing. (Do you think any school would be this lenient today?) The teacher would use the spiral notebook that Mom brought and within a few days would send it home with us, showing Mom what was going to be covered in the time we would be gone. So we had school work. Grandma was very strict about that in spite of the fact that she was really a softy, but then this Grandma was a reader. She read to us and with us, she just loved to read.
A quick note here, when we got home we had to wait for our classes to catch up with what we had done in the couple of hours a day that we spent on our school work. What does that really say about public education? I admire people who home school their children.
While we were in Texas, Grandma got shingles. She thought it was from the soap that she was using. Sure wish that I knew then what I know now about Shingles and how easily they are to cure. I said cure and how quickly one can get rid of the itching that they bring on. Looking back, I figure that we probably caused it because it is a chicken pox residue that recedes into the nervous system and my guess is that having the complete responsibility of the three of us was a lot for her to deal with.
What was so special about this trip was an awakening in my brain that I wasn't just one of the kids. I already mentioned that there were other "kids" in this park. One boy who was 16 and had his driver's license asked if I would like to go to the drive-in theater a few miles away. He said that we could take his brother and sister along with my sisters and all go. I asked Grandpa and Grandma and they decided that it would be fine. So we went. He asked me to sit in the front seat with him. It was the first time that I realized that I might be of interest to someone. This was a very new feeling for me.
Regressing a bit, I get to tell you about rumors that I have heard. When my Grandpa was interested in my Grandma, He lived on a farm near her in the area east of Clintonville. Grandma's stepfather always allowed her and her sisters to take their horses and wagon to town so Grandpa and his brothers would hitch rides.
Maybe that is why they knew it would be OK for us to all pile into a car to go to the movies? Isn't it interesting how cyclical life is?
We had a great time in Donna, Texas. Sharing Grapefruit, movies and having fun. I have to mention that I never did get kissed and that was a good thing because as I said, this feeling was really new to me. To think that here was a boy that didn't want to pull my hair, push me down or throw something at me. He just wanted to share my grapefruit and climb trees with me. Life was good.
One year we took off and headed to Texas. There was Grandpa Charlie, Grandma Nellie, Mom and Dad along with the three of us, girls. Dad had purchased a one bedroom trailer that was about 20 feet long to haul behind our car. This trailer had a living room/dining room, small kitchen and a separate bedroom on the end with a double bed in it.
Grandpa and Grandma were given the bedroom. Mom and Dad had the living room with its davenport that made into a bed. The three of us had sleeping bags that went on the floor in the rest of the living room when the table had been collapsed and moved into the kitchen. It all worked out.
When we got to Texas; Donna Texas to be exact, we found a trailer court and parked under the trees. This trailer court was in a grove of grapefruit trees so we were surrounded by them. There was a large bathroom/shower building nearby made of cement blocks. The sun was shining and life was great.
Mom and Dad had decided that they wanted to go to Mexico City so after a couple of days, they took off. By this time Grandpa and Grandma had gotten acquainted with some of the other people in the park and could get around without having a car of their own. Someone would take Grandpa to the store if we needed something.
As for us, girls…well, we were pretty much on our own. There were a lot of kids in the park that we got to know right away.
The manager of the park told us that we could eat all the grapefruit that we could pick. His only rule was that nothing was to be left on the ground. Grandpa gave me a pocket knife and showed me how to use it so we could cut the fruit up. Grandma gave each of us a spoon of our own to carry in our pocket. We would climb the trees and sit in them eating half a grapefruit while someone else was eating the other half.
We did have one other rule, after lunch we had to spend an hour or sometimes even a little more on our studies. Before we left home, Mom had gone to each of our teachers and told them what we were going to be doing. (Do you think any school would be this lenient today?) The teacher would use the spiral notebook that Mom brought and within a few days would send it home with us, showing Mom what was going to be covered in the time we would be gone. So we had school work. Grandma was very strict about that in spite of the fact that she was really a softy, but then this Grandma was a reader. She read to us and with us, she just loved to read.
A quick note here, when we got home we had to wait for our classes to catch up with what we had done in the couple of hours a day that we spent on our school work. What does that really say about public education? I admire people who home school their children.
While we were in Texas, Grandma got shingles. She thought it was from the soap that she was using. Sure wish that I knew then what I know now about Shingles and how easily they are to cure. I said cure and how quickly one can get rid of the itching that they bring on. Looking back, I figure that we probably caused it because it is a chicken pox residue that recedes into the nervous system and my guess is that having the complete responsibility of the three of us was a lot for her to deal with.
What was so special about this trip was an awakening in my brain that I wasn't just one of the kids. I already mentioned that there were other "kids" in this park. One boy who was 16 and had his driver's license asked if I would like to go to the drive-in theater a few miles away. He said that we could take his brother and sister along with my sisters and all go. I asked Grandpa and Grandma and they decided that it would be fine. So we went. He asked me to sit in the front seat with him. It was the first time that I realized that I might be of interest to someone. This was a very new feeling for me.
Regressing a bit, I get to tell you about rumors that I have heard. When my Grandpa was interested in my Grandma, He lived on a farm near her in the area east of Clintonville. Grandma's stepfather always allowed her and her sisters to take their horses and wagon to town so Grandpa and his brothers would hitch rides.
Maybe that is why they knew it would be OK for us to all pile into a car to go to the movies? Isn't it interesting how cyclical life is?
We had a great time in Donna, Texas. Sharing Grapefruit, movies and having fun. I have to mention that I never did get kissed and that was a good thing because as I said, this feeling was really new to me. To think that here was a boy that didn't want to pull my hair, push me down or throw something at me. He just wanted to share my grapefruit and climb trees with me. Life was good.
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