When I moved my family back to Wisconsin in 1976, I decided to make the transition as easy as possible for me. I knew there would be adjustments but I wanted some continuity in my life. When we arrived, life seemed to be shutting down for the winter. I needed to have a little bit of sunshine from time to time.
People often asked me how I could move from California to Wisconsin. I tried to explain it by telling them that in Wisconsin, ones goes from a heated house to a heated car to a heated work place. In California ones goes from an air-conditioned house to an air-conditioned car to an air-conditioned work place. It has nothing to do with the climate; it is all about the people. It doesn't make any difference where you live; it is about the people that you meet.
One of the first things that I did was to go to Mason's Flower shop and make a deal with them. Every Monday morning they would deliver a small floral arrangement to my office and bill me monthly.
One Monday morning a salesman was sitting there when the flowers arrived. He made a comment about how wonderful it was to be getting flowers. I told him that I got them every week from my best friend. I don't know what he thought about that but it was true; I was my very best friend at that time. I hadn't really gotten to know anyone else outside of my family.
Unless we love ourselves, we can't expect others to love us? I know that sounds narcissistic but it is necessary to feel good about ourselves. If we are expecting other people to love us and make us happy, we haven't read the book because it doesn't work that way.
It is the same with anything that we have. If we want someone to buy our house, then we had better love it and make sure that it is full of love when it is shown to buyers. How about selling a car? If you don't like that car, it will be evident to anyone around. This stuff is tangible!
How about the rule that there is only one person of the opposite sex meant for you? That certainly would be nice but it has not been my experience. When you are lucky enough to find someone that you can have fun with, who makes you smile and you feel good around, you are truly blessed. I have met a few who have made me feel special and some who bring out the best in me, but to expect one person to do it all, is a hard find and if you do, my hat is off to you. My friend, Dorothy talks about this a lot. She tells me that is why she has such a variety of friends. No one person can do it all.
Some people need others around them all the time to make them feel good. I find that rather sad because there are times when we need to know that we can have a good time just being a one-some instead of always a two-some. It is important to enjoy your own company. I know a person who can never be without sound in his life. Day or night he has sound, the TV, the radio, his cell phone, always something to distract him from being with himself. How do you learn about self in a crowd of noises?
Being in love is a special thing. Most of us want this to "be in-love" with someone else. It is OK to just be in love. Find something that makes you laugh. Find something that makes you happy. I would even settle for "pleased" at times.
Love is all around us but we tend to see only the ordinary/unlovable. What can we find to love in this world? How about loving the robin outside the window? How about loving the way the shadows fall on the newly cut grass? How about just loving the fact that we are alive and able to love? I find that I just enjoying feelings, an "In Love" situation is a wonderful feeling.
Why would someone not like themselves? Maybe someone has told them that they are unlovable or they did something that makes them have that feeling. That can be turned around very easily. Find something that you love about yourself. How about the color of your eyes? How about the feeling you get when you hear certain music? We were created in love, therefore we are lovable.
A long time ago, I figured out that Love is the glue that holds the universe together so we all have to do our part. Love something today!
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Vehicles
Lately I have been thinking about the cars that I have known. I know, it should be about the people that I have known but cars are interesting.
One time I sat outside of the place where I worked and watched all the vehicles go by on the freeway. What an interesting concept. They are a lot like people. They come in various shapes and sizes. While I was watching I saw a big truck go by followed by a very small car. Then there was the snazzy expensive car going around the pickup truck. They come in all colors and conditions too. Some cars are so well taken care of and others are so beaten up.
What they all have in common is that there is an intelligent being (Hopefully) sitting the in driver's seat in command of where it is going. A vehicle really is just an artificial body. The purpose is to get the intelligent being from one place to another faster than they can in the flesh body that they inhabit.
All the cars that I have known seem to have a personality that goes along with their looks. Like pets, I have named the ones that I have known personally. I remember a really hot,red-Dodge Dart that had trouble keeping it under 70 miles per hour. I rented her to a guy that wanted something to take him to Phoenix. I told him that she was spunky. (In the early '70's, I managed an Avis franchise.)
Avis story: I had a middle aged French couple come in and all I had was standard shifting vehicles left on the lot. They didn't speak any English. They showed me that they wanted to go to Yosemite so in pantomime, I showed them how to use a standard shift. When they drove off the lot, I followed them. When they got stuck in the middle of an intersection, I parked and showed them again how to let up on the clutch while applying the gas and shift gears. I followed them for a few more blocks until I was sure that they were going to be all right. I did this hoping that someone would do this for my parents when they were traveling somewhere that didn't understand English.
How about the little blue Sprite? Larry and I went to Las Vegas in one that we had in the early '60s. Going from Los Angeles to Las Vegas, one climbs into the high desert. We were going to meet my sister Donna and her husband there. Now in the high desert at night in the wintertime, it gets really cold and this little car had a heater that got smaller and smaller as we traveled. I remember reaching behind the seats into the back of the vehicle and opening the suitcases to pull out our bathing towels to stuff in the braces of the soft top and then pull our bathrobes out to put around us. We joked that when we got there someone would have to chip us out of this little car. This Sprite was so funny; we played tag with trucks all the way there. We would zip up a hill and pass a truck, then on the downhill side they would go flying by us.
Automobiles have become a symbol of independence. For many years, when I was in California we only had one car, a station wagon to take all the things one needed for our family. When Larry was gone, I would be at home without the freedom to do anything. So he got a car for me. It was an old pink Cadillac. Remember the fins and the long fronts on these cars? They were a challenge because one never was sure how far from the building you were parking. You couldn't see where the back or the front ended, but it took my kids and my neighbors, along with their kids to the lake north of Merced many times.
Larry drove a Blue VW bug when Loren was very little. So whenever Loren saw a VW bug, he called it a Daddy Car. And it was. He carried a VW bug Hot-Wheels (small toy car) with him in his pocket. When Blaine was old enough he always had a different Hot-Wheels car in each of his pockets.
My father had Dodge vehicles because the Dodge dealer in Shawano was a friend of his. Dad had Dodge trucks for his business. One of Dad's theories was that people like to deal with successful people. So every three years he traded in his car and got a new one.
I can say that I am personally responsible for damaging one of these vehicles twice. Once I had a car full of girls that was being chased by a car full of boys and I went around a corner too closely. We pulled the fender out and Dad was somewhat understanding. The second time that I damaged this same car, I had to pay for it. In that case, I had used the extra space that a fire hydrant takes up to do my parallel parking. The hydrant in from of Koepsels store was really leaning out into the street (the whole sidewalk was sitting at a 30 degree angle) and as I backed in to the spot behind it, I heard a screech as it sliding down the side of the car. It looked like it had been keyed on the passenger's side.
Do we give more attention to our cars than we do to people? When I first married Vern, his sister-in-law told me that he had washed the paint off his first car. I believe that because Vern likes to have everything he owns look just so.
What do our cars say about us? Some people have cars that are always clean inside and out. Other cars look like they belong to a person who is living out of them.
I have never owned a new car but I remember the smell that my Dad's cars had. When I was working for him, he wanted me to have a new company car. Somehow that didn't work for me. As a divorced woman, I needed to have my own things. Having my own car did that for me. Plus I had a teenager and I didn't want to be responsible for a company car with her driving.
One day when I first came back to Wisconsin from California, I left the office for lunch and drove out to a stop sign. It was winter and icy but I was being very careful. While waiting for the light to turn green, I watched a car that was spinning out of control coming over the hill in my direction. My first reaction was to slam my car into reverse and get out of the trajectory. I looked behind and there was someone sitting right behind me so I couldn't shift gears. I crossed my hands over the steering wheel, put my face into them and waited. The car hit, knocking all the windows out of the other car. There was an old man in it and without windows; he would be cold waiting for the police, which another person had called. My right front fender was damaged but I was warm and cozy. I told him to get into my car while we waited. He was so upset and worried. He was sure that he would lose his license to drive. (Remember this is a sign of independence. We all want this for as long as we can hold on to it) I'm not sure if he did or did not lose his license but when I went back to work, my co-workers wanted to know what had happened to my car. I told them that I do anything these days to meet men and I met a really nice one from Gillette.
When I got custody of my Mother because Dad died and Mother had a mild case of Alzheimer's, (they called it Sundowning because she became very upset at dusk.) Mother went with me all the time. It was like having another child to watch. For a while she had complained that she never got to drive anymore. So one day when we were at Walgreens, about 4 blocks from our house, I asked her if she would mind driving home because I had a terrible headache. It was early afternoon and the traffic was nothing. She got into the driver's seat and drove us home. She drove straddling the center line at about 5 to 7 miles per hour. I didn't say anything but just allowed her to do this. After that experience, she never asked to drive again. When I told Vern about this, he couldn't believe what I had done this. He brings it up from time to time even now. Mother had been driving since she was a teenager on her parents farm so not driving was a very important loss.
Cars don't seem that important to me as they seem to be for others. I feel that I am driving for everyone around me when I go out. I even mention to others that in every vehicle you see on the road, there is a person on some drug sitting in the driver's seat. Sure it might be just an aspirin but everyone is on something. There are very few people who are not taking some drug at this time.
So a really good day for me is to do all my errands on my bike and not take my car out of the garage. When I have to drive for a long ways, I find myself getting worn out just driving. I have even taken people to appointments and after driving them home, I have to give myself a pep talk to get home myself. Sometimes my car sits in the garage for almost a week without being driven. This is one of the nice things about living in a very small town.
When my son was trying to talk me into getting a computer, he mentioned that he understood my feelings about artificial intelligence. He felt that it was similar to my feelings about artificial bodies (Cars), artificial flowers, even prints of paintings. Boy,what does that say about me if I can only have the real thing?
One time I sat outside of the place where I worked and watched all the vehicles go by on the freeway. What an interesting concept. They are a lot like people. They come in various shapes and sizes. While I was watching I saw a big truck go by followed by a very small car. Then there was the snazzy expensive car going around the pickup truck. They come in all colors and conditions too. Some cars are so well taken care of and others are so beaten up.
What they all have in common is that there is an intelligent being (Hopefully) sitting the in driver's seat in command of where it is going. A vehicle really is just an artificial body. The purpose is to get the intelligent being from one place to another faster than they can in the flesh body that they inhabit.
All the cars that I have known seem to have a personality that goes along with their looks. Like pets, I have named the ones that I have known personally. I remember a really hot,red-Dodge Dart that had trouble keeping it under 70 miles per hour. I rented her to a guy that wanted something to take him to Phoenix. I told him that she was spunky. (In the early '70's, I managed an Avis franchise.)
Avis story: I had a middle aged French couple come in and all I had was standard shifting vehicles left on the lot. They didn't speak any English. They showed me that they wanted to go to Yosemite so in pantomime, I showed them how to use a standard shift. When they drove off the lot, I followed them. When they got stuck in the middle of an intersection, I parked and showed them again how to let up on the clutch while applying the gas and shift gears. I followed them for a few more blocks until I was sure that they were going to be all right. I did this hoping that someone would do this for my parents when they were traveling somewhere that didn't understand English.
How about the little blue Sprite? Larry and I went to Las Vegas in one that we had in the early '60s. Going from Los Angeles to Las Vegas, one climbs into the high desert. We were going to meet my sister Donna and her husband there. Now in the high desert at night in the wintertime, it gets really cold and this little car had a heater that got smaller and smaller as we traveled. I remember reaching behind the seats into the back of the vehicle and opening the suitcases to pull out our bathing towels to stuff in the braces of the soft top and then pull our bathrobes out to put around us. We joked that when we got there someone would have to chip us out of this little car. This Sprite was so funny; we played tag with trucks all the way there. We would zip up a hill and pass a truck, then on the downhill side they would go flying by us.
Automobiles have become a symbol of independence. For many years, when I was in California we only had one car, a station wagon to take all the things one needed for our family. When Larry was gone, I would be at home without the freedom to do anything. So he got a car for me. It was an old pink Cadillac. Remember the fins and the long fronts on these cars? They were a challenge because one never was sure how far from the building you were parking. You couldn't see where the back or the front ended, but it took my kids and my neighbors, along with their kids to the lake north of Merced many times.
Larry drove a Blue VW bug when Loren was very little. So whenever Loren saw a VW bug, he called it a Daddy Car. And it was. He carried a VW bug Hot-Wheels (small toy car) with him in his pocket. When Blaine was old enough he always had a different Hot-Wheels car in each of his pockets.
My father had Dodge vehicles because the Dodge dealer in Shawano was a friend of his. Dad had Dodge trucks for his business. One of Dad's theories was that people like to deal with successful people. So every three years he traded in his car and got a new one.
I can say that I am personally responsible for damaging one of these vehicles twice. Once I had a car full of girls that was being chased by a car full of boys and I went around a corner too closely. We pulled the fender out and Dad was somewhat understanding. The second time that I damaged this same car, I had to pay for it. In that case, I had used the extra space that a fire hydrant takes up to do my parallel parking. The hydrant in from of Koepsels store was really leaning out into the street (the whole sidewalk was sitting at a 30 degree angle) and as I backed in to the spot behind it, I heard a screech as it sliding down the side of the car. It looked like it had been keyed on the passenger's side.
Do we give more attention to our cars than we do to people? When I first married Vern, his sister-in-law told me that he had washed the paint off his first car. I believe that because Vern likes to have everything he owns look just so.
What do our cars say about us? Some people have cars that are always clean inside and out. Other cars look like they belong to a person who is living out of them.
I have never owned a new car but I remember the smell that my Dad's cars had. When I was working for him, he wanted me to have a new company car. Somehow that didn't work for me. As a divorced woman, I needed to have my own things. Having my own car did that for me. Plus I had a teenager and I didn't want to be responsible for a company car with her driving.
One day when I first came back to Wisconsin from California, I left the office for lunch and drove out to a stop sign. It was winter and icy but I was being very careful. While waiting for the light to turn green, I watched a car that was spinning out of control coming over the hill in my direction. My first reaction was to slam my car into reverse and get out of the trajectory. I looked behind and there was someone sitting right behind me so I couldn't shift gears. I crossed my hands over the steering wheel, put my face into them and waited. The car hit, knocking all the windows out of the other car. There was an old man in it and without windows; he would be cold waiting for the police, which another person had called. My right front fender was damaged but I was warm and cozy. I told him to get into my car while we waited. He was so upset and worried. He was sure that he would lose his license to drive. (Remember this is a sign of independence. We all want this for as long as we can hold on to it) I'm not sure if he did or did not lose his license but when I went back to work, my co-workers wanted to know what had happened to my car. I told them that I do anything these days to meet men and I met a really nice one from Gillette.
When I got custody of my Mother because Dad died and Mother had a mild case of Alzheimer's, (they called it Sundowning because she became very upset at dusk.) Mother went with me all the time. It was like having another child to watch. For a while she had complained that she never got to drive anymore. So one day when we were at Walgreens, about 4 blocks from our house, I asked her if she would mind driving home because I had a terrible headache. It was early afternoon and the traffic was nothing. She got into the driver's seat and drove us home. She drove straddling the center line at about 5 to 7 miles per hour. I didn't say anything but just allowed her to do this. After that experience, she never asked to drive again. When I told Vern about this, he couldn't believe what I had done this. He brings it up from time to time even now. Mother had been driving since she was a teenager on her parents farm so not driving was a very important loss.
Cars don't seem that important to me as they seem to be for others. I feel that I am driving for everyone around me when I go out. I even mention to others that in every vehicle you see on the road, there is a person on some drug sitting in the driver's seat. Sure it might be just an aspirin but everyone is on something. There are very few people who are not taking some drug at this time.
So a really good day for me is to do all my errands on my bike and not take my car out of the garage. When I have to drive for a long ways, I find myself getting worn out just driving. I have even taken people to appointments and after driving them home, I have to give myself a pep talk to get home myself. Sometimes my car sits in the garage for almost a week without being driven. This is one of the nice things about living in a very small town.
When my son was trying to talk me into getting a computer, he mentioned that he understood my feelings about artificial intelligence. He felt that it was similar to my feelings about artificial bodies (Cars), artificial flowers, even prints of paintings. Boy,what does that say about me if I can only have the real thing?
Saturday, August 4, 2007
The Awakening
Due to the nature of my Dad's business, we went on vacation in the wintertime. In Spring and Summer, Wisconsin is getting ready for and bombarded with tourists, one of our main sources of income. So every winter our family would go on vacation.
One year we took off and headed to Texas. There was Grandpa Charlie, Grandma Nellie, Mom and Dad along with the three of us, girls. Dad had purchased a one bedroom trailer that was about 20 feet long to haul behind our car. This trailer had a living room/dining room, small kitchen and a separate bedroom on the end with a double bed in it.
Grandpa and Grandma were given the bedroom. Mom and Dad had the living room with its davenport that made into a bed. The three of us had sleeping bags that went on the floor in the rest of the living room when the table had been collapsed and moved into the kitchen. It all worked out.
When we got to Texas; Donna Texas to be exact, we found a trailer court and parked under the trees. This trailer court was in a grove of grapefruit trees so we were surrounded by them. There was a large bathroom/shower building nearby made of cement blocks. The sun was shining and life was great.
Mom and Dad had decided that they wanted to go to Mexico City so after a couple of days, they took off. By this time Grandpa and Grandma had gotten acquainted with some of the other people in the park and could get around without having a car of their own. Someone would take Grandpa to the store if we needed something.
As for us, girls…well, we were pretty much on our own. There were a lot of kids in the park that we got to know right away.
The manager of the park told us that we could eat all the grapefruit that we could pick. His only rule was that nothing was to be left on the ground. Grandpa gave me a pocket knife and showed me how to use it so we could cut the fruit up. Grandma gave each of us a spoon of our own to carry in our pocket. We would climb the trees and sit in them eating half a grapefruit while someone else was eating the other half.
We did have one other rule, after lunch we had to spend an hour or sometimes even a little more on our studies. Before we left home, Mom had gone to each of our teachers and told them what we were going to be doing. (Do you think any school would be this lenient today?) The teacher would use the spiral notebook that Mom brought and within a few days would send it home with us, showing Mom what was going to be covered in the time we would be gone. So we had school work. Grandma was very strict about that in spite of the fact that she was really a softy, but then this Grandma was a reader. She read to us and with us, she just loved to read.
A quick note here, when we got home we had to wait for our classes to catch up with what we had done in the couple of hours a day that we spent on our school work. What does that really say about public education? I admire people who home school their children.
While we were in Texas, Grandma got shingles. She thought it was from the soap that she was using. Sure wish that I knew then what I know now about Shingles and how easily they are to cure. I said cure and how quickly one can get rid of the itching that they bring on. Looking back, I figure that we probably caused it because it is a chicken pox residue that recedes into the nervous system and my guess is that having the complete responsibility of the three of us was a lot for her to deal with.
What was so special about this trip was an awakening in my brain that I wasn't just one of the kids. I already mentioned that there were other "kids" in this park. One boy who was 16 and had his driver's license asked if I would like to go to the drive-in theater a few miles away. He said that we could take his brother and sister along with my sisters and all go. I asked Grandpa and Grandma and they decided that it would be fine. So we went. He asked me to sit in the front seat with him. It was the first time that I realized that I might be of interest to someone. This was a very new feeling for me.
Regressing a bit, I get to tell you about rumors that I have heard. When my Grandpa was interested in my Grandma, He lived on a farm near her in the area east of Clintonville. Grandma's stepfather always allowed her and her sisters to take their horses and wagon to town so Grandpa and his brothers would hitch rides.
Maybe that is why they knew it would be OK for us to all pile into a car to go to the movies? Isn't it interesting how cyclical life is?
We had a great time in Donna, Texas. Sharing Grapefruit, movies and having fun. I have to mention that I never did get kissed and that was a good thing because as I said, this feeling was really new to me. To think that here was a boy that didn't want to pull my hair, push me down or throw something at me. He just wanted to share my grapefruit and climb trees with me. Life was good.
One year we took off and headed to Texas. There was Grandpa Charlie, Grandma Nellie, Mom and Dad along with the three of us, girls. Dad had purchased a one bedroom trailer that was about 20 feet long to haul behind our car. This trailer had a living room/dining room, small kitchen and a separate bedroom on the end with a double bed in it.
Grandpa and Grandma were given the bedroom. Mom and Dad had the living room with its davenport that made into a bed. The three of us had sleeping bags that went on the floor in the rest of the living room when the table had been collapsed and moved into the kitchen. It all worked out.
When we got to Texas; Donna Texas to be exact, we found a trailer court and parked under the trees. This trailer court was in a grove of grapefruit trees so we were surrounded by them. There was a large bathroom/shower building nearby made of cement blocks. The sun was shining and life was great.
Mom and Dad had decided that they wanted to go to Mexico City so after a couple of days, they took off. By this time Grandpa and Grandma had gotten acquainted with some of the other people in the park and could get around without having a car of their own. Someone would take Grandpa to the store if we needed something.
As for us, girls…well, we were pretty much on our own. There were a lot of kids in the park that we got to know right away.
The manager of the park told us that we could eat all the grapefruit that we could pick. His only rule was that nothing was to be left on the ground. Grandpa gave me a pocket knife and showed me how to use it so we could cut the fruit up. Grandma gave each of us a spoon of our own to carry in our pocket. We would climb the trees and sit in them eating half a grapefruit while someone else was eating the other half.
We did have one other rule, after lunch we had to spend an hour or sometimes even a little more on our studies. Before we left home, Mom had gone to each of our teachers and told them what we were going to be doing. (Do you think any school would be this lenient today?) The teacher would use the spiral notebook that Mom brought and within a few days would send it home with us, showing Mom what was going to be covered in the time we would be gone. So we had school work. Grandma was very strict about that in spite of the fact that she was really a softy, but then this Grandma was a reader. She read to us and with us, she just loved to read.
A quick note here, when we got home we had to wait for our classes to catch up with what we had done in the couple of hours a day that we spent on our school work. What does that really say about public education? I admire people who home school their children.
While we were in Texas, Grandma got shingles. She thought it was from the soap that she was using. Sure wish that I knew then what I know now about Shingles and how easily they are to cure. I said cure and how quickly one can get rid of the itching that they bring on. Looking back, I figure that we probably caused it because it is a chicken pox residue that recedes into the nervous system and my guess is that having the complete responsibility of the three of us was a lot for her to deal with.
What was so special about this trip was an awakening in my brain that I wasn't just one of the kids. I already mentioned that there were other "kids" in this park. One boy who was 16 and had his driver's license asked if I would like to go to the drive-in theater a few miles away. He said that we could take his brother and sister along with my sisters and all go. I asked Grandpa and Grandma and they decided that it would be fine. So we went. He asked me to sit in the front seat with him. It was the first time that I realized that I might be of interest to someone. This was a very new feeling for me.
Regressing a bit, I get to tell you about rumors that I have heard. When my Grandpa was interested in my Grandma, He lived on a farm near her in the area east of Clintonville. Grandma's stepfather always allowed her and her sisters to take their horses and wagon to town so Grandpa and his brothers would hitch rides.
Maybe that is why they knew it would be OK for us to all pile into a car to go to the movies? Isn't it interesting how cyclical life is?
We had a great time in Donna, Texas. Sharing Grapefruit, movies and having fun. I have to mention that I never did get kissed and that was a good thing because as I said, this feeling was really new to me. To think that here was a boy that didn't want to pull my hair, push me down or throw something at me. He just wanted to share my grapefruit and climb trees with me. Life was good.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
The Jungle
Have you ever sat in a chair and looked through a ray of sunshine coming in one of the nearby windows? One can see all the dust particles that are in the air like they are gypsies in a musical.
Today I did something similar. I sat by a window and just watched life evolve in the back yard. The interesting part was that the sun was shining directly on the area closest to the house but the yard and house next door was in shadows. So what I was looking at stood out like the dust particles in the sunshine ray.
At first I watched a couple of large butterflies that were so happy to have found the spearmint patch in full blossom. They flitted from one purple top to another. Soon they were joined by a white moth.
As I sat and watched, there were hundreds of small dots of sunlit bugs of all kinds. Some buzzed around while other were just traveling through.
We have three raised beds of plants occupying the back yard that are four by eight feet long. The first one is half full of Melissa (Lemon Balm)but I also planted two tomato plants in there this year. I put four stakes near them to hold them up as they grow. I wrapped these stakes with cording. So far we have only eaten one tomato of the twelve that they have. The rest are all different sizes and in different stages of color.
The reason for this description is that a wren is sitting on the top of one of the stakes looking in at my window, telling me, "Don't forget to mention me out here in the sunshine." Sometimes he faces my window and natters so loudly that our cats take issue with it.
It is amazing the number of bugs that are out there enjoying whatever is in season and today it is the Spearmint. The Peppermint still has away to go before it will be in full blossom but soon it will be loaded with flowers too.
From my view point at the window, my back yard is as busy as it is in downtown Milwaukee on a week day. When the wind blows, leaves flutter down, birds fly through, but mostly it is the insect life that is so great.
The wren took off and is back on his post on the tomato stake but for once he is quiet. This is very unusual for him.
We have an oak tree in the front yard so from time to time we see squirrels in this area of the back yard. For many years, we haven't seen chipmunks but we do have them back with their striped coats this year. Years ago we had a lot of chipmunks and they liked to re-pot some of my flower pots on the patio. I kind'a missed them but I am happy to see them back again.
I sure hope this wren knows what it is doing while it preens itself on the post as a large dark bird just flew overhead.
We do have ravens in the area. One time I watched three ravens take on a mother rabbit. They were as big as she was and they put her in the center of their triangle. One would advance and she would go to fend off that advance when one of the others would move into steal one of her babies. She didn't have a chance. She lost all of her babies that year.
What is it that they say, "life is a jungle." We think that means in the office/work place or maybe in the wilderness or woods but the jungle is in our
backyards.
If we are really truthful, we will realize that the jungle is right here, inside of us too. We are always trying to find ways to survive, to do the right thing, to stay on top of life.
Enjoy what is in your life today.
Today I did something similar. I sat by a window and just watched life evolve in the back yard. The interesting part was that the sun was shining directly on the area closest to the house but the yard and house next door was in shadows. So what I was looking at stood out like the dust particles in the sunshine ray.
At first I watched a couple of large butterflies that were so happy to have found the spearmint patch in full blossom. They flitted from one purple top to another. Soon they were joined by a white moth.
As I sat and watched, there were hundreds of small dots of sunlit bugs of all kinds. Some buzzed around while other were just traveling through.
We have three raised beds of plants occupying the back yard that are four by eight feet long. The first one is half full of Melissa (Lemon Balm)but I also planted two tomato plants in there this year. I put four stakes near them to hold them up as they grow. I wrapped these stakes with cording. So far we have only eaten one tomato of the twelve that they have. The rest are all different sizes and in different stages of color.
The reason for this description is that a wren is sitting on the top of one of the stakes looking in at my window, telling me, "Don't forget to mention me out here in the sunshine." Sometimes he faces my window and natters so loudly that our cats take issue with it.
It is amazing the number of bugs that are out there enjoying whatever is in season and today it is the Spearmint. The Peppermint still has away to go before it will be in full blossom but soon it will be loaded with flowers too.
From my view point at the window, my back yard is as busy as it is in downtown Milwaukee on a week day. When the wind blows, leaves flutter down, birds fly through, but mostly it is the insect life that is so great.
The wren took off and is back on his post on the tomato stake but for once he is quiet. This is very unusual for him.
We have an oak tree in the front yard so from time to time we see squirrels in this area of the back yard. For many years, we haven't seen chipmunks but we do have them back with their striped coats this year. Years ago we had a lot of chipmunks and they liked to re-pot some of my flower pots on the patio. I kind'a missed them but I am happy to see them back again.
I sure hope this wren knows what it is doing while it preens itself on the post as a large dark bird just flew overhead.
We do have ravens in the area. One time I watched three ravens take on a mother rabbit. They were as big as she was and they put her in the center of their triangle. One would advance and she would go to fend off that advance when one of the others would move into steal one of her babies. She didn't have a chance. She lost all of her babies that year.
What is it that they say, "life is a jungle." We think that means in the office/work place or maybe in the wilderness or woods but the jungle is in our
backyards.
If we are really truthful, we will realize that the jungle is right here, inside of us too. We are always trying to find ways to survive, to do the right thing, to stay on top of life.
Enjoy what is in your life today.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
My Many Personalities
Anyone reading this has met one of my many personalities. Maggie is the writer and she loves to write. When she was younger she used to write long handwritten letters. She then started writing letters on her typewriter.
Now she is writing her memories and some of her thoughts. I don't know if anyone else enjoys her stories but it keeps her busy and happy about her life in present time so I guess that is a very good thing. We all need to find what makes us happy and do it.
Today I will introduce you to another personality. Gertie and I have been very good friends for a long time. I have known her a lot longer than Maggie.
I first knew about Gertie when my daughter's boyfriend wanted to demonstrate a vacuum cleaner. I told him that I wasn't buying one but he said that he gets credit for every demo that he did, so I agreed.
He came over with this wonderful unit and vacuumed part of a room. Then he showed me just how much dirt that his machine took out of our rug. My comment was, "I give Gertie good equipment and she leaves that much dirt in my rug?" When he looked at me strangely, I said, "Gertie is the lady who cleans my house every week." And I said this with a very somber face. Later my daughter and her boyfriend left to go somewhere but when she got home, she was laughing and told me that her boyfriend wanted to know if I really had a cleaning lady come in once a week. She cleared it all up when she told him that I don't but that once a week Mom turns into the cleaning lady so she can be the lady of the house the rest of the time.
After that Gertie was a fixture in our house. I like her work because she is as fussy as I am but has to be reminded to clean the refrigerator from time to time.
Now let's talk about the personality that we refer to as Phyllis. She isn't what people think she is at all. She has so many insecurities and has had to push herself through all of them. Not to say that she is alone in this as everyone lives with some insecurity. When listening to what other people are having to adjust their lives to, she sometimes makes a wish to trade places. She isn't allowed to do that because this is the contract that she signed up for, FAMILY.
For the last 20 years it has been one problem after another. These are not little problems that can handle themselves.
In spite of all of these things, she pushed ahead each time having to rebuilding her personal life to the point where she could see the good in the world again. With the help of her friends and family, this part of her personality was able create a front that looked really good from the outside. No one could see the bleeding that was going on inside.
She did great through most of the things that were thrown at her. Well, She didn't do well when her oldest child went through some major problems in the '80s but she was able to be there and do what needed to be done. Then again when her youngest child went through major problems in '01, she had a few missing months in her life where she needed to pull the pieces back together.
She handled the care and death of her parents rather well from the viewpoint of most people. It was when her baby sister died that depression set in big-time.
From the outside, she looked normal but inside the walls, that were fragile to begin with, fell into ruin for a very long time. There are still places where they haven't been shored up enough to get through bad days.
If she were a nail, it would be all the way into the two by four by now. How much pounding can one person be expected to handle?
Sometime during the last depression, she lost contact with her daughter. Then her remaining sister had a stroke and she finally decided that she had to retreat into her own world. Hense the blog stories. www.maggiebrowneakaphyllisheitkamp.blogspot.com
Recently a couple of her friends have tried to talk her into publishing these stories. The idea sounds appealing but we will have to see about that. There are already storm clouds on the horizon so the publishing might have to wait until the next major situation is handled.
In any case, she is a survivor. Do you think that when metal is being heated and pounded into a sword, it doesn't feel anything or does it know that it is being made stronger to fight the battles ahead?
Now she is writing her memories and some of her thoughts. I don't know if anyone else enjoys her stories but it keeps her busy and happy about her life in present time so I guess that is a very good thing. We all need to find what makes us happy and do it.
Today I will introduce you to another personality. Gertie and I have been very good friends for a long time. I have known her a lot longer than Maggie.
I first knew about Gertie when my daughter's boyfriend wanted to demonstrate a vacuum cleaner. I told him that I wasn't buying one but he said that he gets credit for every demo that he did, so I agreed.
He came over with this wonderful unit and vacuumed part of a room. Then he showed me just how much dirt that his machine took out of our rug. My comment was, "I give Gertie good equipment and she leaves that much dirt in my rug?" When he looked at me strangely, I said, "Gertie is the lady who cleans my house every week." And I said this with a very somber face. Later my daughter and her boyfriend left to go somewhere but when she got home, she was laughing and told me that her boyfriend wanted to know if I really had a cleaning lady come in once a week. She cleared it all up when she told him that I don't but that once a week Mom turns into the cleaning lady so she can be the lady of the house the rest of the time.
After that Gertie was a fixture in our house. I like her work because she is as fussy as I am but has to be reminded to clean the refrigerator from time to time.
Now let's talk about the personality that we refer to as Phyllis. She isn't what people think she is at all. She has so many insecurities and has had to push herself through all of them. Not to say that she is alone in this as everyone lives with some insecurity. When listening to what other people are having to adjust their lives to, she sometimes makes a wish to trade places. She isn't allowed to do that because this is the contract that she signed up for, FAMILY.
For the last 20 years it has been one problem after another. These are not little problems that can handle themselves.
In spite of all of these things, she pushed ahead each time having to rebuilding her personal life to the point where she could see the good in the world again. With the help of her friends and family, this part of her personality was able create a front that looked really good from the outside. No one could see the bleeding that was going on inside.
She did great through most of the things that were thrown at her. Well, She didn't do well when her oldest child went through some major problems in the '80s but she was able to be there and do what needed to be done. Then again when her youngest child went through major problems in '01, she had a few missing months in her life where she needed to pull the pieces back together.
She handled the care and death of her parents rather well from the viewpoint of most people. It was when her baby sister died that depression set in big-time.
From the outside, she looked normal but inside the walls, that were fragile to begin with, fell into ruin for a very long time. There are still places where they haven't been shored up enough to get through bad days.
If she were a nail, it would be all the way into the two by four by now. How much pounding can one person be expected to handle?
Sometime during the last depression, she lost contact with her daughter. Then her remaining sister had a stroke and she finally decided that she had to retreat into her own world. Hense the blog stories. www.maggiebrowneakaphyllisheitkamp.blogspot.com
Recently a couple of her friends have tried to talk her into publishing these stories. The idea sounds appealing but we will have to see about that. There are already storm clouds on the horizon so the publishing might have to wait until the next major situation is handled.
In any case, she is a survivor. Do you think that when metal is being heated and pounded into a sword, it doesn't feel anything or does it know that it is being made stronger to fight the battles ahead?
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Grandchild
Do parents realize what a blessing it is for everyone when they share their children with their parents? The bond that is created between a grandchild and a grandparent is a wonderful thing.
I don't have grandchildren of my own but I have a step-grandchild that has always been a blessing in my life.
When Susie was four years old, her mother allowed her to spend a week with us in the summer. After that it got to be an annual thing. We looked forward to that week. We got to watch her grow up and listen to things that she was interested in and watch how she did things. I remember watching her pack her suitcase when she was about five and she packed like a little old lady. Everything was folded and put in just so. It was adorable.
Every year we had her stand by the closet door in the kitchen and we would mark how tall she had gotten in the last year.
It is the little things that are so important. She and I would exchange secrets and years later we would talk about them. She would parrot my words years later, "I couldn't go on certain rides because I didn't have my play shoes on."
Grandpa was always working so she and I would go to the beach where she could swim in Lake Michigan. She would collect rocks from the beach and bring them home. I would set up a painting area and whenever she wanted, she would go to that area and paint on her rocks.
One year she and I made some watercolor pictures. I had one framed that she made and sent it to her Mother for her Mother's birthday.
We made furniture for her doll house. She and I even got to ride Amtrak from where she lived to our town.
We would go shopping for school clothes. I don't think she really liked to trying on sweaters in July but she did it. One very hot summer, she really was unhappy about this event. She always went home with a bunch of new clothes of her choosing.
One of the things that was nice about having her at our house was that Susie didn't need to be entertained. We didn't have to be going all the time to fly a kite or ride a bike. (By the way, she didn't enjoy flying kites.) If I wanted to read a book, she would skate in the driveway or maybe paint or some other thing and I didn't have to suggest things to do. I see so many children that have to be entertained all the time. Will they grow up unable to be alone?
As she got older, she had more activities in the summer at home, like her job and ball games so we didn't get to see her as much but we did stay in touch. When she had an event; Basketball game, school play or when she was modeling, we would drive to it. She was good at modeling because in high school she was five foot ten inches tall. (Both of her parents are tall)
The last four years she has been in College and we e-mail each other. At first it was once a week and I knew that would settle down as she felt more comfortable away from home. It did. Then she got so busy, a job and tutoring after school that we only heard from her now and then.
Grandpa and I started something with her when she was very little. We called it the "Peanut Can." When we had change in our pockets or purses, we would put it in a peanut can and that was what she could spend when she was at our house for the week. Later when we didn't see her as often, we would take the "Peanut Can" and give it to her when we went up to her school. We told her it was the tip for being her.
Grandpa would ask her what she wanted for Christmas and she would usually get it. (Grandpa is a softy when it comes to Susan.) Maybe it would be a certain sports jacket or money to add to what she had for a trip etc. Susie was always polite enough to thank us for whatever she got.
She has moved on to her first "real" job in Colorado, so we probably won't see her that much but there is still the e-mail. She has turned out to be a very loving/responsible adult.
I feel sorry for Grandparent who have never had this opportunity to bond with one or more of their grandchildren. It is a wonderful feeling and wonderful experience for everyone.
I don't have grandchildren of my own but I have a step-grandchild that has always been a blessing in my life.
When Susie was four years old, her mother allowed her to spend a week with us in the summer. After that it got to be an annual thing. We looked forward to that week. We got to watch her grow up and listen to things that she was interested in and watch how she did things. I remember watching her pack her suitcase when she was about five and she packed like a little old lady. Everything was folded and put in just so. It was adorable.
Every year we had her stand by the closet door in the kitchen and we would mark how tall she had gotten in the last year.
It is the little things that are so important. She and I would exchange secrets and years later we would talk about them. She would parrot my words years later, "I couldn't go on certain rides because I didn't have my play shoes on."
Grandpa was always working so she and I would go to the beach where she could swim in Lake Michigan. She would collect rocks from the beach and bring them home. I would set up a painting area and whenever she wanted, she would go to that area and paint on her rocks.
One year she and I made some watercolor pictures. I had one framed that she made and sent it to her Mother for her Mother's birthday.
We made furniture for her doll house. She and I even got to ride Amtrak from where she lived to our town.
We would go shopping for school clothes. I don't think she really liked to trying on sweaters in July but she did it. One very hot summer, she really was unhappy about this event. She always went home with a bunch of new clothes of her choosing.
One of the things that was nice about having her at our house was that Susie didn't need to be entertained. We didn't have to be going all the time to fly a kite or ride a bike. (By the way, she didn't enjoy flying kites.) If I wanted to read a book, she would skate in the driveway or maybe paint or some other thing and I didn't have to suggest things to do. I see so many children that have to be entertained all the time. Will they grow up unable to be alone?
As she got older, she had more activities in the summer at home, like her job and ball games so we didn't get to see her as much but we did stay in touch. When she had an event; Basketball game, school play or when she was modeling, we would drive to it. She was good at modeling because in high school she was five foot ten inches tall. (Both of her parents are tall)
The last four years she has been in College and we e-mail each other. At first it was once a week and I knew that would settle down as she felt more comfortable away from home. It did. Then she got so busy, a job and tutoring after school that we only heard from her now and then.
Grandpa and I started something with her when she was very little. We called it the "Peanut Can." When we had change in our pockets or purses, we would put it in a peanut can and that was what she could spend when she was at our house for the week. Later when we didn't see her as often, we would take the "Peanut Can" and give it to her when we went up to her school. We told her it was the tip for being her.
Grandpa would ask her what she wanted for Christmas and she would usually get it. (Grandpa is a softy when it comes to Susan.) Maybe it would be a certain sports jacket or money to add to what she had for a trip etc. Susie was always polite enough to thank us for whatever she got.
She has moved on to her first "real" job in Colorado, so we probably won't see her that much but there is still the e-mail. She has turned out to be a very loving/responsible adult.
I feel sorry for Grandparent who have never had this opportunity to bond with one or more of their grandchildren. It is a wonderful feeling and wonderful experience for everyone.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Mowing
Today is the Fourth of July, the day that we celebrate our Independence. So what will you be doing? Will you be golfing? Will you be at a parade? Will you have friends and family over for a cook out?
Vern has chosen to mow the lawn. We all do what is fun for us and for him, mowing is a joy. Where does that come from? As long as I have been with him, mowing is his fun perhaps even his meditation time/space.
Yes, he goes golfing and comes home tired and hurting but with mowing, he comes in feeling great. I guess when the yard looks just the way he wants it to, he is proud.
When he comes home from golfing, there isn't any pride. Sure he had friends that he got to talk with but somehow it doesn't hit the mark like mowing does.
What is it about mowing that is so great? Maybe it is the feeling that he gets riding on his lawnmower? Maybe it is a feeling that he is "king" of his land? Maybe it is the feeling he gets because he is not just sitting around but making something look great? Maybe it is the fact that he has the freedom to do anything so he decides to do this? Maybe in his mind he has allocated all the rest of the week to other things and he is trying to fit this in?
I wonder what the people around here think as they are home from work today for a holiday and can sleep in or just do the nothing that they have been looking forward too? Or are even trying to sit and talk with their friends?
Last night we sat out on the front porch and watched it rain. A rain that we really needed. He mentioned that we really live in a very quiet neighborhood. It was late in the day and I mentioned that it is nice this time of the day. Usually there is someone pounding on a new roof or cutting their lawn or replacing
something. Looking around, he kind'a laughed at me and said, "Well, there aren't any new roofs going on around here." I mentioned that sound really carries in this little village. We can hear the music from the park six blocks away. So during the daytime we can hear a roof going on from the top of the hill. Later as we sat there, we could hear a lot of cars and I asked him if he thought that was the traffic on Mequon Road (12 blocks away).
If you went out there right now while he is mowing and asked him how he felt about what he is doing, first he wouldn't want to talk about his feelings but then you would see that he is comfortable somewhere in his world.
When this marriage was young, I thought I would help him by having the boys mow near the end of the week so Vern would have his weekends free. It wasn't long and the boys came to me with a situation. It seems that even if they mow on Thursday after school, Vern mowed again on Saturday. So I told the boys that from now on we would allow him to do the mowing.
He loves to ride on his mower. At times it has become a bit of a problem because he is in his own world and trees have a way of hanging over his work. It was then that the gardens under the trees became enlarged to accommodate this situation.
When I was on the board at Wellspring, an organic farm, Bed and Breakfast and training center in Newberg, there was a lot of mowing that needed to be done. I suggested that maybe Vern would like to volunteer his talent but after doing it for one summer on a weekly basis, he wasn't having fun. I guess it is just his kingdom that he enjoys cutting.
While taking the UW County Extension's gardening classes, I learned that grass should be allowed to grow 2 1/2 to 3 1/2 inches tall. This allows the roots to stay shaded and weeds do not germinate as well in taller grass. Also "never remove more than 1/3 of the leaf tissue at any one mowing." (Information from Bulletin #A3435) So of course you know what I did? I would go out and set his blade higher. The next time he would cut, he would lower it and I would reset it between cuttings. Vern has this idea that if it can wave in the wind, it needs to be cut off. I have finally given up. He can mow three times a week if it makes him happy.
He has agreed with me about not putting chemicals on our lawn. From time to time he isn't happy about this as we do have a lot of weeds because of the short grass. I started a one-year contract with him in the early 90s. Then we would renew it every year. Now I don't do that either. When he put fertilizer on the lawn this year, I would guess that it was a weed and feed just by the results that he was getting.
I am getting too old to try to win any of these. Who cares anyway? If we get Dioxin from the weed and feed and loose a liver or anything…who cares? It will be five years before I can use the dandelions in my yard for wine now. Maybe some of these things just aren't as important as they used to be in my life. I don't like it but…. There are a lot of things that I don't care for. (How about cell phone micro-wave transmissions?)
All of my neighbors have three or more applications of weed and feed put on their yard annually. How do I know this? I am registered with the State of Wisconsin regarding chemical lawn applications. There is a paper that I file every February listing all the properties around me that I wish to be notified if they are going to have chemicals put on them. So I get a phone call the day before the application from the lawn care companies.
When plant roots can get fed within the top two inches of the ground, they sure don't need to dig into the planet very far. I have always wondered about this feeding. When someone walks through your whole property within a matter of minutes with liquid food, does that stuff even get as far as the ground or just feed the leafy matter?
I guess will just continue to watch Vern having the pleasure that he has with his property and I will relax. Life is too short to be the only one to care about the planet.
Vern has chosen to mow the lawn. We all do what is fun for us and for him, mowing is a joy. Where does that come from? As long as I have been with him, mowing is his fun perhaps even his meditation time/space.
Yes, he goes golfing and comes home tired and hurting but with mowing, he comes in feeling great. I guess when the yard looks just the way he wants it to, he is proud.
When he comes home from golfing, there isn't any pride. Sure he had friends that he got to talk with but somehow it doesn't hit the mark like mowing does.
What is it about mowing that is so great? Maybe it is the feeling that he gets riding on his lawnmower? Maybe it is a feeling that he is "king" of his land? Maybe it is the feeling he gets because he is not just sitting around but making something look great? Maybe it is the fact that he has the freedom to do anything so he decides to do this? Maybe in his mind he has allocated all the rest of the week to other things and he is trying to fit this in?
I wonder what the people around here think as they are home from work today for a holiday and can sleep in or just do the nothing that they have been looking forward too? Or are even trying to sit and talk with their friends?
Last night we sat out on the front porch and watched it rain. A rain that we really needed. He mentioned that we really live in a very quiet neighborhood. It was late in the day and I mentioned that it is nice this time of the day. Usually there is someone pounding on a new roof or cutting their lawn or replacing
something. Looking around, he kind'a laughed at me and said, "Well, there aren't any new roofs going on around here." I mentioned that sound really carries in this little village. We can hear the music from the park six blocks away. So during the daytime we can hear a roof going on from the top of the hill. Later as we sat there, we could hear a lot of cars and I asked him if he thought that was the traffic on Mequon Road (12 blocks away).
If you went out there right now while he is mowing and asked him how he felt about what he is doing, first he wouldn't want to talk about his feelings but then you would see that he is comfortable somewhere in his world.
When this marriage was young, I thought I would help him by having the boys mow near the end of the week so Vern would have his weekends free. It wasn't long and the boys came to me with a situation. It seems that even if they mow on Thursday after school, Vern mowed again on Saturday. So I told the boys that from now on we would allow him to do the mowing.
He loves to ride on his mower. At times it has become a bit of a problem because he is in his own world and trees have a way of hanging over his work. It was then that the gardens under the trees became enlarged to accommodate this situation.
When I was on the board at Wellspring, an organic farm, Bed and Breakfast and training center in Newberg, there was a lot of mowing that needed to be done. I suggested that maybe Vern would like to volunteer his talent but after doing it for one summer on a weekly basis, he wasn't having fun. I guess it is just his kingdom that he enjoys cutting.
While taking the UW County Extension's gardening classes, I learned that grass should be allowed to grow 2 1/2 to 3 1/2 inches tall. This allows the roots to stay shaded and weeds do not germinate as well in taller grass. Also "never remove more than 1/3 of the leaf tissue at any one mowing." (Information from Bulletin #A3435) So of course you know what I did? I would go out and set his blade higher. The next time he would cut, he would lower it and I would reset it between cuttings. Vern has this idea that if it can wave in the wind, it needs to be cut off. I have finally given up. He can mow three times a week if it makes him happy.
He has agreed with me about not putting chemicals on our lawn. From time to time he isn't happy about this as we do have a lot of weeds because of the short grass. I started a one-year contract with him in the early 90s. Then we would renew it every year. Now I don't do that either. When he put fertilizer on the lawn this year, I would guess that it was a weed and feed just by the results that he was getting.
I am getting too old to try to win any of these. Who cares anyway? If we get Dioxin from the weed and feed and loose a liver or anything…who cares? It will be five years before I can use the dandelions in my yard for wine now. Maybe some of these things just aren't as important as they used to be in my life. I don't like it but…. There are a lot of things that I don't care for. (How about cell phone micro-wave transmissions?)
All of my neighbors have three or more applications of weed and feed put on their yard annually. How do I know this? I am registered with the State of Wisconsin regarding chemical lawn applications. There is a paper that I file every February listing all the properties around me that I wish to be notified if they are going to have chemicals put on them. So I get a phone call the day before the application from the lawn care companies.
When plant roots can get fed within the top two inches of the ground, they sure don't need to dig into the planet very far. I have always wondered about this feeding. When someone walks through your whole property within a matter of minutes with liquid food, does that stuff even get as far as the ground or just feed the leafy matter?
I guess will just continue to watch Vern having the pleasure that he has with his property and I will relax. Life is too short to be the only one to care about the planet.
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