My Many Personalities

Anyone reading this has met one of my many personalities. Maggie is the writer and she loves to write. When she was younger she used to write long handwritten letters. She then started writing letters on her typewriter.

Now she is writing her memories and some of her thoughts. I don't know if anyone else enjoys her stories but it keeps her busy and happy about her life in present time so I guess that is a very good thing. We all need to find what makes us happy and do it.

Today I will introduce you to another personality. Gertie and I have been very good friends for a long time. I have known her a lot longer than Maggie.

I first knew about Gertie when my daughter's boyfriend wanted to demonstrate a vacuum cleaner. I told him that I wasn't buying one but he said that he gets credit for every demo that he did, so I agreed.

He came over with this wonderful unit and vacuumed part of a room. Then he showed me just how much dirt that his machine took out of our rug. My comment was, "I give Gertie good equipment and she leaves that much dirt in my rug?" When he looked at me strangely, I said, "Gertie is the lady who cleans my house every week." And I said this with a very somber face. Later my daughter and her boyfriend left to go somewhere but when she got home, she was laughing and told me that her boyfriend wanted to know if I really had a cleaning lady come in once a week. She cleared it all up when she told him that I don't but that once a week Mom turns into the cleaning lady so she can be the lady of the house the rest of the time.

After that Gertie was a fixture in our house. I like her work because she is as fussy as I am but has to be reminded to clean the refrigerator from time to time.

Now let's talk about the personality that we refer to as Phyllis. She isn't what people think she is at all. She has so many insecurities and has had to push herself through all of them. Not to say that she is alone in this as everyone lives with some insecurity. When listening to what other people are having to adjust their lives to, she sometimes makes a wish to trade places. She isn't allowed to do that because this is the contract that she signed up for, FAMILY.

For the last 20 years it has been one problem after another. These are not little problems that can handle themselves.

In spite of all of these things, she pushed ahead each time having to rebuilding her personal life to the point where she could see the good in the world again. With the help of her friends and family, this part of her personality was able create a front that looked really good from the outside. No one could see the bleeding that was going on inside.

She did great through most of the things that were thrown at her. Well, She didn't do well when her oldest child went through some major problems in the '80s but she was able to be there and do what needed to be done. Then again when her youngest child went through major problems in '01, she had a few missing months in her life where she needed to pull the pieces back together.

She handled the care and death of her parents rather well from the viewpoint of most people. It was when her baby sister died that depression set in big-time.

From the outside, she looked normal but inside the walls, that were fragile to begin with, fell into ruin for a very long time. There are still places where they haven't been shored up enough to get through bad days.

If she were a nail, it would be all the way into the two by four by now. How much pounding can one person be expected to handle?

Sometime during the last depression, she lost contact with her daughter. Then her remaining sister had a stroke and she finally decided that she had to retreat into her own world. Hense the blog stories. www.maggiebrowneakaphyllisheitkamp.blogspot.com

Recently a couple of her friends have tried to talk her into publishing these stories. The idea sounds appealing but we will have to see about that. There are already storm clouds on the horizon so the publishing might have to wait until the next major situation is handled.

In any case, she is a survivor. Do you think that when metal is being heated and pounded into a sword, it doesn't feel anything or does it know that it is being made stronger to fight the battles ahead?