One warm sunny day, my husband told me that he was going to Mexico for a year. He mentioned that he had been thinking about doing this for a while and that he would go down and live with a family there.
OK…, that sounds interesting.
"What are the children and I supposed to do?"
"You would stay here and everything would just be the way it is."
"So… when would you be leaving?"
"I'm not sure."
"And you expect everything to remain the way it is now while you are gone?"
After this conversation, things started to get interesting. I remember telling him not to expect me to be here when he got back. That my life wasn't going to be on hold while he follows his rainbows.
So he started to rethink all of it. "Maybe we could leave our children with your sister?" What I got out of that was that Betty should take care of her three children for a year along with our 3 year old , our 4 year old and our 6 year old. Somehow that didn't seem fair to either Betty or me. I just didn't see me leaving my children for a year.
After much discussion, "Perhaps we could take them along" became the plan. So this run-away from life changed into a run-away with life. That is probably where the problem started.
He built a large box carrier for the top of our car to store all the things that we would need. He got addresses of the people he wanted to look up. We got a visa for 6 months with the idea that after 6 months if we wanted to, we could come to the border and get another 6 month's visa.
We headed for Nogalus with our overloaded car. The plan was to drive from there to Matzalan and then on to Guadalara.
My husband wouldn't let me drive because from the time that he crossed the border, he went into a mega-fear mode. Everyone around him was against him. I found that very interesting. He had to calculate everything out and make sure that he wasn't overcharged on anything. That no one was stealing from him.
The land itself is interesting. One hundred plus miles above the border is desert and the two hundred miles below the border is the same. It is like no man's land around the border. Nothing is happy there, sort of burned out desert. Maybe this is where the fear came from?
Finally we got past the ugly part of both countries (My opinion) and into the tropical part; it became a welcoming place of green again. Even the people smiled at us.
I remember that we stopped at the Tropic of Cancer sign and took pictures. It was a happy time.
When we got to Matzalan, we played on the beach across the street from the motel that we were staying at.
The motel pool was of interest to the children. While most of us were sitting in the pool, Blaine was walking around the side of it talking to everyone. At first I didn't know what he was saying but he was making them laugh. Then I realized that he was talking to them in all the Spanish that he knew. He could count from Uno to Diez and say Buenos Dias, Buenos Tardes and Buenos Noches. He did all of this over and over because that is all he knew how to say.
We went to watch the cliff divers and explored the outdoor market place. It contained everything one could want but the meat was there only on Tuesdays and then chicken was hanging from the stalls everywhere.
In 1967 this town was a village on the Gulf of California. They were building a new airport in the countryside. We went out there to look at it. Nothing was occupied and there were no workmen there while we were looking around. We wandered in this ghost construction of what would someday be a wonderful modern airport.
I looked around and one of my chicks was missing. I looked down at my feet to find Blaine hanging on by his fingertips to the floor at the top of the escalators. One small square of metal flooring was sitting along the side of him. I reached down and pulled him up watching escalator gears grinding under where his feet could have been. Thanks you God for making him a short 3 year-old. We left Matzalan the next morning with me in a rather shaken-up condition.
We were headed to Guadalara, where his friends were supposed to live. They didn't really live in this city but lived in a little village south of there, called La Puenta. When we got there, we found out that they were "on-holiday" and had gone to the states. These friends were studying medicine there because it was a lot cheaper than to go to a medical school in the States.
Having hit a dead end, my husband wasn't sure what he wanted to do. While we were trying to find out about his friends a little girl suggested, in rather nice English, that we should follow her to meet her grandfather's. We did. He turned out to be the mayor of this little village.
He wasn't at all what you would expect. He was a tall, thin man from Denmark with salt and pepper hair. He invited us into his home and we talked about what we had hoped to do. He spoke English very well and on the walls of his home we saw commendations from the King of Denmark. I would guess that he was an ambassador at one time and had married a native and stayed. He called a couple of his friends and then told us that he would help us find a place to rent in his village. We spend most of a day going around from place to place but no one wanted to rent to a family with three children. I remember his comment as we headed back to his house for supper. "We are some Catholic country when we won't rent to a family. I was hoping to have some English speaking children in our school."
The next day we headed north to Guadalara. It was here that my husband got sick. I mentioned to him that as long as we were here, we should go and see things. He suggested that the kids and I go but that he would just stay in the motel.
What we found was that this town is divided into sectors. In one sector you could get all the Russian food that you would ever want. In another sector, Italian and in another, Chinese all created and served by people from those countries. It was a melting pot. Later when we got back home, people would mention that we were probably tired of Mexican foods but really we had some of everything down there.
One day we were looking for an address and knocked on the gate of a house. An American woman came to the gate and welcomed us like she knew us but we didn't know each other. We mentioned what we were looking for and she said that she would see if she could find it for us but in the meantime to come in and relax, make ourselves at home. Maybe she just wanted company from people back home?
The house was an open design. All the floors were made from large tiles. The furniture was colonial. (That means that it was heavy dark wood in Spanish designs as opposed to modern. (They even ask if you want colonial or modern when checking into a motel.) A large pool was inside the tropical fenced-in yard.
The family that lived here was from the States and the husband worked for a local company. They had children who were watching TV. Our two oldest went in to watch Gilligan in Spanish but my little one decided to jump into the pool. He didn't swim so I ended up in the pool pulling him out.
Looking back, I don't understand why I didn't see all the signs that were there and we weren't supposed to be.
We left the area and headed back to Matzalan. When we got there I found a small place that we could have rented just across the street from the ocean. It didn't have furniture but we could have fixed that and there wasn't any yard but we had the whole beach. I knew that I could tutor Kathy back up to her grade level if she lost some ground in this school. Loren would have been able to learn fast enough to make it there and Blaine was too little for school anyway. By that time Larry had already decided that we weren't staying. So we celebrated Kathy's birthday by letting her pick out something as a present at the open market. She chose a wooden carved shadowbox.
From there back to Nogalas was strained. My husband wasn't feeling well but refused to allow me to drive because "the Mexican's are all out to get Gringos!!!!"
After we got to Nogalas, He went into the back of the station wagon and I got to take us home. Well, whatever home was as we had rented out our house to TD's (Temporary Duty people at the air force base near our home.) So we really headed back to Los Angeles where his parents lived. It was the only time that I have ever driven when I had to keep reminding myself that I was completely responsible for the 4 people sleeping in the back. I dug my finger nails into my hands until they were almost bleeding to stay awake and alert and I drove. I knew that he wouldn't be happy until we were back in California so I drove and I drove.
Hind sight tells me that I should have just let him go to Mexico by himself. Sometimes we don't always make good decisions but that is just another part of learning about life.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Monday, May 28, 2007
The Others
What would you like to ask, if you could get an answer to any question that you have been thinking about?
When I was taking a healing class in Racine, we would work as a group on different members. Each time we met, everyone had a change to have some part of their body worked on. Yes,it was energy healing. We had learned to pull “junk” out of the area that we were working on and help move energy up and down the body. Whoever was working on the feet, would pull the energy down and off the end of the body. The person working the head area would blow energy into the top of this body. Everyone in the middle would work to keep the energy moving by keeping the chakras spinning.
One evening our teacher told us that she was going to show us what our aura looked like. In a darkened room, with only reflected light from a hallway, she stood by a white wall. We watched as she pulled up Mother Earth’s energy in to her body. Then she pulled down the God energy from the sky and combined them in her solar plexus area to be able to move this energy out her hands. We watched her shoot swords of light to the wall through her palms. I remember commenting that she was constantly changing color. She explained that the God energy is a different color than Earth’s energy.
Once we could see the energy around the body, she asked each of us to stand by the wall and allow the class to see the energy around us. When it was my turn, I showed them how I make balls of energy and send them off. Usually I send this to plants but in this case I just sent these balls of white light to the nearest wall. Those who could see energy talked about it, the rest of the class was still learning.
Because most of the people there only saw the energy, some of them ask me what color they were. The colors seem to be like colored smoke that floated around them. People don’t come in one color but have different colors in different places on their bodies. For example, their arms might be light blue and the head might be yellow. I don’t really understand the colors and what they mean but it isn’t hard to see them, it just takes practice. We have to look with our spiritual eyes and not have any expectations.
My teacher suggested that I try some automatic writing. I had never heard of that before but why not. It did sound like something I would like to try. She told me that I should get into a meditative state, then ask questions and see what happens.
My husband goes to bed at 8:00pm summer or winter so that sounded like a good time to do this. After it got dark out and the house was quiet, I lighted one white candle, then relaxed in a chair with a pencil and paper on my lap.
I have found that when I meditate, I relax and wait for the “Colors”. In my mind’s eye, I see different colors that whorl around each other much like the colors in an oil slick. They just move this way and that way. I don’t really concentrate on anything but enjoy watching the colors. I found this way of meditating when people would tell me to clear my mind of every thought and just allow. Every time that I “allowed” the colors would come.
Now to ask a question. At first I wasn’t sure what to ask so I decided to ask about the Devas (Plant angels). My first questions was:
Q: How do I get more insight on Devas? Will they ever approach me?
There was a very long pause as I poised my pencil over the paper. Still not knowing what would happen, Little at a time I would get a word and write it down. Sometimes waiting for the next word, I would imagine what it would be but I usually got it wrong.
A: It is all not known what you need to know. How would we share? We need together? We understand your limitations. We need others to be one. We see all in one in everything. There is no one only all. Time is only now. Form can change at will. The will of the designer. God is the designer. Many can redesign something. It will follow blueprint. We are helping it. Example, transfer. Normally more love on inside. Enlighten area. Caring and loving energy, they transmute into food. The plants use it like sun’s energy. We are open, wish to share and guide.
Q: Why is my Cat here?
A: She is aware of us, is viewing this conversation.
(Side note: when I was reading Jean Aue's books about the wilderness life of an Indian women, my cats would come to enjoy the pictures that I made in my head. Cats are very good at reading pictures.)
Q: May I talk to the Devas of Oakwell?
A: You are there, we are all and share. Much stress on us too. Most are stressed. Send love/light at all times. Much stress. Many changes now and ahead. Many of us around you most of the time. People very unaware. We enjoy your energies. We are one, we share energies. We can try, we can share our oneness. We are here to help. Lighten your heart. Fill with love.
Q: What can I share with my group that would be helpful?
A: Things are on schedule.
Q: What does that mean?
A: Each person is where he is meant to be. All is well.
Q: Why are we impatient?
A: Think in fast forward not now.
Q: Why do I have a headache?
A: It is Vern’s
Q: It is also gone now. Thanks. May I talk to the Oakwell Devas?
A: It surprised you to ID the owner of the pain. We too pick up that around us. Much pain, hurting. We get very sad. Have to let it go. We need less stress, noise, hurting. We feel human hurt, anger. It is hard on us. We liked the pink light you cleaned out with after the family party. It helps put balance into areas. When we are in balance we assist those around us. Chain reaction. We are able to put stop to bad and not pass that along. Do it by transmuting it. This takes energy. Light is wonderful. Pierces soul/heart. Check water tomorrow. Some help needed. Remember to lighten heart and send love. We are you.
I waited a while and then because my cats were running around like everything, I asked,
Q: Who are my cats chasing?
A: The beings in this room. Many were drawn by your music and meditation. Most important to bring Christ light in.
Q: What do you look like to my cats?
A: Like little sparks of life. The God (good) energy.
Q: May I talk to the Devas?
A: We are all here. We are all one. Many things to do. No time to do. Give all. Must find more time. We will help you understand it. Extremes are good. People need them to understand the middle. Value your judgment. Must be careful not to rush people. Most are rushing to catch up. The party allowed you to do the catching up. Need to see others that are just ahead of you. Time means nothing, it is all in the heart. We will bless all. Have heart smile. Give love.
Q: Is there anyone or anything else I should know about?
A: The light of the rose is beautiful, radiant. Send to everyone. Be there. Allow more. All are sparks of God, all are learning.
Q: May I talk to the Oakwell Devas?
A: You can see why we play games with you at times. We need joy. There is joy only as it is created. All can create. The tapes are very good. All truth is everywhere. Send more love/light into areas. Be free to help all who need. You will be guided. We are here. Your light attracts us. We enjoy it. There is much light. All need it. Love to you. The heart is good. We are you.
Everytime I sat down to do this, I felt that maybe I was doing it myself. So I tried to see what words would come to me next because I would get one word at a time. So the next time I asked:
Q: How do the Devas feel about a plum tree?
And I got one word at a time that said..
A: We accept your triangle but would like to help. (When I heard the “we accept” I had no idea how this sentence was going to be finished, so the rest of it was all theirs. They continued to say…) All needs to be put together with love. All is not right. We need your input. We like fruits..Must give more thought to design when spring comes. All need redesigning. We will work together to have a co-created garden. We need you to see our ideas and do. Friend left to be part of celebration (I told Vern that I thought there was a pine tree in our neighbor's yard that was missing.) Only form left, being still resides in the pines. Apple area need cooperation. Pear not happy with area. We will work on that. Send love even in the winter. We will care for all. All are one. Love heart. We are you.
I did this through the winter of ’92-’93. What I put down here is verbatim of what I got during that time. Later in ’93, I got a lot more information. Some of it relating to the others, some relating to family situations but all of it telling me that I am here to help and that I have more resources than I am aware of. I don’t always feel that way and yet I know that I am never alone. I have always felt that in this lifetime I am here to help the planet (and everything on it) to move into the fourth and fifth dimensions.
"And I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth were passed away." (Rev.) "For as the new heavens and the new earth, which I will make, shall remain before me, saith the lord, so shall your seed and your name remain."(Is. )
When I was taking a healing class in Racine, we would work as a group on different members. Each time we met, everyone had a change to have some part of their body worked on. Yes,it was energy healing. We had learned to pull “junk” out of the area that we were working on and help move energy up and down the body. Whoever was working on the feet, would pull the energy down and off the end of the body. The person working the head area would blow energy into the top of this body. Everyone in the middle would work to keep the energy moving by keeping the chakras spinning.
One evening our teacher told us that she was going to show us what our aura looked like. In a darkened room, with only reflected light from a hallway, she stood by a white wall. We watched as she pulled up Mother Earth’s energy in to her body. Then she pulled down the God energy from the sky and combined them in her solar plexus area to be able to move this energy out her hands. We watched her shoot swords of light to the wall through her palms. I remember commenting that she was constantly changing color. She explained that the God energy is a different color than Earth’s energy.
Once we could see the energy around the body, she asked each of us to stand by the wall and allow the class to see the energy around us. When it was my turn, I showed them how I make balls of energy and send them off. Usually I send this to plants but in this case I just sent these balls of white light to the nearest wall. Those who could see energy talked about it, the rest of the class was still learning.
Because most of the people there only saw the energy, some of them ask me what color they were. The colors seem to be like colored smoke that floated around them. People don’t come in one color but have different colors in different places on their bodies. For example, their arms might be light blue and the head might be yellow. I don’t really understand the colors and what they mean but it isn’t hard to see them, it just takes practice. We have to look with our spiritual eyes and not have any expectations.
My teacher suggested that I try some automatic writing. I had never heard of that before but why not. It did sound like something I would like to try. She told me that I should get into a meditative state, then ask questions and see what happens.
My husband goes to bed at 8:00pm summer or winter so that sounded like a good time to do this. After it got dark out and the house was quiet, I lighted one white candle, then relaxed in a chair with a pencil and paper on my lap.
I have found that when I meditate, I relax and wait for the “Colors”. In my mind’s eye, I see different colors that whorl around each other much like the colors in an oil slick. They just move this way and that way. I don’t really concentrate on anything but enjoy watching the colors. I found this way of meditating when people would tell me to clear my mind of every thought and just allow. Every time that I “allowed” the colors would come.
Now to ask a question. At first I wasn’t sure what to ask so I decided to ask about the Devas (Plant angels). My first questions was:
Q: How do I get more insight on Devas? Will they ever approach me?
There was a very long pause as I poised my pencil over the paper. Still not knowing what would happen, Little at a time I would get a word and write it down. Sometimes waiting for the next word, I would imagine what it would be but I usually got it wrong.
A: It is all not known what you need to know. How would we share? We need together? We understand your limitations. We need others to be one. We see all in one in everything. There is no one only all. Time is only now. Form can change at will. The will of the designer. God is the designer. Many can redesign something. It will follow blueprint. We are helping it. Example, transfer. Normally more love on inside. Enlighten area. Caring and loving energy, they transmute into food. The plants use it like sun’s energy. We are open, wish to share and guide.
Q: Why is my Cat here?
A: She is aware of us, is viewing this conversation.
(Side note: when I was reading Jean Aue's books about the wilderness life of an Indian women, my cats would come to enjoy the pictures that I made in my head. Cats are very good at reading pictures.)
Q: May I talk to the Devas of Oakwell?
A: You are there, we are all and share. Much stress on us too. Most are stressed. Send love/light at all times. Much stress. Many changes now and ahead. Many of us around you most of the time. People very unaware. We enjoy your energies. We are one, we share energies. We can try, we can share our oneness. We are here to help. Lighten your heart. Fill with love.
Q: What can I share with my group that would be helpful?
A: Things are on schedule.
Q: What does that mean?
A: Each person is where he is meant to be. All is well.
Q: Why are we impatient?
A: Think in fast forward not now.
Q: Why do I have a headache?
A: It is Vern’s
Q: It is also gone now. Thanks. May I talk to the Oakwell Devas?
A: It surprised you to ID the owner of the pain. We too pick up that around us. Much pain, hurting. We get very sad. Have to let it go. We need less stress, noise, hurting. We feel human hurt, anger. It is hard on us. We liked the pink light you cleaned out with after the family party. It helps put balance into areas. When we are in balance we assist those around us. Chain reaction. We are able to put stop to bad and not pass that along. Do it by transmuting it. This takes energy. Light is wonderful. Pierces soul/heart. Check water tomorrow. Some help needed. Remember to lighten heart and send love. We are you.
I waited a while and then because my cats were running around like everything, I asked,
Q: Who are my cats chasing?
A: The beings in this room. Many were drawn by your music and meditation. Most important to bring Christ light in.
Q: What do you look like to my cats?
A: Like little sparks of life. The God (good) energy.
Q: May I talk to the Devas?
A: We are all here. We are all one. Many things to do. No time to do. Give all. Must find more time. We will help you understand it. Extremes are good. People need them to understand the middle. Value your judgment. Must be careful not to rush people. Most are rushing to catch up. The party allowed you to do the catching up. Need to see others that are just ahead of you. Time means nothing, it is all in the heart. We will bless all. Have heart smile. Give love.
Q: Is there anyone or anything else I should know about?
A: The light of the rose is beautiful, radiant. Send to everyone. Be there. Allow more. All are sparks of God, all are learning.
Q: May I talk to the Oakwell Devas?
A: You can see why we play games with you at times. We need joy. There is joy only as it is created. All can create. The tapes are very good. All truth is everywhere. Send more love/light into areas. Be free to help all who need. You will be guided. We are here. Your light attracts us. We enjoy it. There is much light. All need it. Love to you. The heart is good. We are you.
Everytime I sat down to do this, I felt that maybe I was doing it myself. So I tried to see what words would come to me next because I would get one word at a time. So the next time I asked:
Q: How do the Devas feel about a plum tree?
And I got one word at a time that said..
A: We accept your triangle but would like to help. (When I heard the “we accept” I had no idea how this sentence was going to be finished, so the rest of it was all theirs. They continued to say…) All needs to be put together with love. All is not right. We need your input. We like fruits..Must give more thought to design when spring comes. All need redesigning. We will work together to have a co-created garden. We need you to see our ideas and do. Friend left to be part of celebration (I told Vern that I thought there was a pine tree in our neighbor's yard that was missing.) Only form left, being still resides in the pines. Apple area need cooperation. Pear not happy with area. We will work on that. Send love even in the winter. We will care for all. All are one. Love heart. We are you.
I did this through the winter of ’92-’93. What I put down here is verbatim of what I got during that time. Later in ’93, I got a lot more information. Some of it relating to the others, some relating to family situations but all of it telling me that I am here to help and that I have more resources than I am aware of. I don’t always feel that way and yet I know that I am never alone. I have always felt that in this lifetime I am here to help the planet (and everything on it) to move into the fourth and fifth dimensions.
"And I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth were passed away." (Rev.) "For as the new heavens and the new earth, which I will make, shall remain before me, saith the lord, so shall your seed and your name remain."(Is. )
Thursday, May 24, 2007
The Hare and the Turtle
Today has been a hyper vs. hypo day. There is going to be a plant sale that I want to go to today and Vern woke me up this morning very early. He isn't going but I guess he thinks that if I am not first in line, I won't get the two plants that I want. I don't see a lot of people rushing in to get a Stevia plant.
My Dad used to tell me about his step-grandfather. He said that Grandpa Bolster always had a very organized farm but Dad never remembered seeing his grandfather moving fast. He said that his tack room was always neat and orderly. His wood pile didn't have a stick of wood out of place but when they walked to town together, Dad did 3 miles for every one that his Grandpa did. He mentioned that Grandpa just moved at his own pace and got everything done in his own time. If he saw a leaf on the ground, he would pick it up as he walked by, not really stopping to do it.
I will have to say that even though I have never met the man, I already admire him. He is one of us, the turtle people. You have heard the story about the turtle and the hare, some of us are just turtle people.
My father was a hare. He was always on the go. He belonged to a lot of organizations, had 30 employees, liked to entertain. How about a boat ride or would you like to go waterskiing? Maybe you would like to play shuffleboard on the board that he just put in the front yard? He was always doing something.
Mother, on the other hand was a turtle person. She walked five pace behind Dad. (I don't think she could have kept up with him if she tried. We, Girls used to joke about Dad being Chinese and Mom walking her 5 paces back.) I must take after my Mother. She wasn't afraid to do things but in her own sweet time.
Sometimes I think that "Hare" people have an inner knowing that they have limited time and they want to get it all done now.
Turtle people know that they can get it done but that if it doesn't get finished today, there is always tomorrow.
I do have to admire "Hare" people. We recently had an electrical outlet that wasn't working. I called an electrician to come and find out what our problem was. He told me that he would come in two weeks. He came and he opened all the outlets in two rooms of our house. Many hours later he still hadn't found the problem. Putting everyting back together he said that he would have his son come with him next time so that they could get into the attic. A lot of time went by and I never heard back from him. Then yesterday, Vern called a different electrician. Now if I had called someone they would have told me that they would be there two weeks from Friday. So you can imagine my surprise when Vern said that the man would be out later that day. (Is this a guy thing?) He came and he fixed it in less than two hours.
One of the other Hare things is to "Run" all the time. When I have things that I need to do, mail a letter, pick up a book, get film: they are all on my list when I leave home. A Hare will run to get one new drill bit and come back. Then a few hours later run to get some spackle or some other things making one trip into several.
Another thing that I have found out about Hares is that when you mention that you would like this or that, for some reason they think you mean now. As an example, I would like to take this to Marretta's. The Hare thinking that you mean within the next 10 min. He has his coat on and car keys in hand. When in fact you really meant within the next week. So I have learned to be much more specific.
I admire Hares. If it weren't for Hares, a lot of stuff that we have today wouldn't have gotten done. My father was always creating faster and better ways to do something. I guess if we have to blame someone for speeding up the world, we can always blame a Hare.
In the meantime, us, turtles will just plod along and clean up whatever the Hare didn't have time to do. Putting some order into the world around us.
My Dad used to tell me about his step-grandfather. He said that Grandpa Bolster always had a very organized farm but Dad never remembered seeing his grandfather moving fast. He said that his tack room was always neat and orderly. His wood pile didn't have a stick of wood out of place but when they walked to town together, Dad did 3 miles for every one that his Grandpa did. He mentioned that Grandpa just moved at his own pace and got everything done in his own time. If he saw a leaf on the ground, he would pick it up as he walked by, not really stopping to do it.
I will have to say that even though I have never met the man, I already admire him. He is one of us, the turtle people. You have heard the story about the turtle and the hare, some of us are just turtle people.
My father was a hare. He was always on the go. He belonged to a lot of organizations, had 30 employees, liked to entertain. How about a boat ride or would you like to go waterskiing? Maybe you would like to play shuffleboard on the board that he just put in the front yard? He was always doing something.
Mother, on the other hand was a turtle person. She walked five pace behind Dad. (I don't think she could have kept up with him if she tried. We, Girls used to joke about Dad being Chinese and Mom walking her 5 paces back.) I must take after my Mother. She wasn't afraid to do things but in her own sweet time.
Sometimes I think that "Hare" people have an inner knowing that they have limited time and they want to get it all done now.
Turtle people know that they can get it done but that if it doesn't get finished today, there is always tomorrow.
I do have to admire "Hare" people. We recently had an electrical outlet that wasn't working. I called an electrician to come and find out what our problem was. He told me that he would come in two weeks. He came and he opened all the outlets in two rooms of our house. Many hours later he still hadn't found the problem. Putting everyting back together he said that he would have his son come with him next time so that they could get into the attic. A lot of time went by and I never heard back from him. Then yesterday, Vern called a different electrician. Now if I had called someone they would have told me that they would be there two weeks from Friday. So you can imagine my surprise when Vern said that the man would be out later that day. (Is this a guy thing?) He came and he fixed it in less than two hours.
One of the other Hare things is to "Run" all the time. When I have things that I need to do, mail a letter, pick up a book, get film: they are all on my list when I leave home. A Hare will run to get one new drill bit and come back. Then a few hours later run to get some spackle or some other things making one trip into several.
Another thing that I have found out about Hares is that when you mention that you would like this or that, for some reason they think you mean now. As an example, I would like to take this to Marretta's. The Hare thinking that you mean within the next 10 min. He has his coat on and car keys in hand. When in fact you really meant within the next week. So I have learned to be much more specific.
I admire Hares. If it weren't for Hares, a lot of stuff that we have today wouldn't have gotten done. My father was always creating faster and better ways to do something. I guess if we have to blame someone for speeding up the world, we can always blame a Hare.
In the meantime, us, turtles will just plod along and clean up whatever the Hare didn't have time to do. Putting some order into the world around us.
Monday, May 21, 2007
Always and Forever
What do we really know about always? The dictionary says, "For all times, Forever." It also says that Forever means, "For everlasting time, At all times, A seemingly very long time." Sounds like they might mean the same things?
I have been seeing these words creating a lot of problems for people. They vowed "Forever" or say "Always" and are stuck in that black hold where there is no end.
My son, Loren told me not to use those words because we have no way of knowing how they will affect our lives in the future.
Nothing should be always. If we have an always that goes on and on, how do we create something different to learn from? We need for things to end. I once took a class and they were teaching the anatomy of control. They said that to be in control of something means that you start it, change it and stop it.
So if you start something and it goes on forever, you are not in control? A lot of people start things but never finish them. Does that mean that their things go on forever? Usually it means the person involved is not in control of his world.
Then there are people who never start anything but they are always changing everything. Again, out of control.
How about the ones that want to put a stop to everything? "We can't do that anymore." "Don't chew gum." "Don't talk." they think that they are the ones in control but with all that stop, stop, they really lose more control than they gain. And the sad part is that they never get to start anything nice.
It must be very draining to never see a project completed. To wonder what it will look like whenever it does get done. I know that it is very annoying to have those around them, who are always changing things. And "Stop" usually can only create fear or resentment.
Always used to be a word that I like using. I will always be married, in love, faithful, of service, kind and so many other things that I tagged onto the always. Then I found out that "always" really doesn't service me as a person.
How about the vow of "always" to a mate in the years 1437 that is still being run out in 2007. They haven't figured out that they don't have to have this "always" in their lives but they are stuck in this rut. They have learned what they needed to from the two personalities but now are stuck with "always."
I have a sister that I am sure took a vows of poverty and servitude many lifetimes ago. She still has to give away anything that she gets so she never has enough for herself. Her vows are not serving her in this lifetime but she didn't really believe at the time that she said, "Forever" it was as long as it really is.
When one thinks about the vastness of the universe, the infinity of it all, why would a infinity God create a finite world? He didn't. At the end of this lifetime it doesn't say, THE END. God wouldn't have wanted it that way. He created us to experience and unless your life is much more exciting than mine...like they say in show business, you haven't seen nothing yet.
We get to experience the Good, the Bad and the Ugly, along with a whole lot more that makes living the adventure that it is.
Have you seen all the rainbows, all the sunsets, all the cute things that happen on a daily basis? No, because it takes a long time to do all of that.
When we put "always" out there it locks us into a future that is cyclical. When we have been locked-in for so long, it amazes me that some of us can function at all. We have all these old rules that hamper our present time decisions.
There are things that we would like to try but when we start them, we bump into our old rules. In order to be able to function in present time, we need to undo all our past vows that had "always" and "forever" attached. It is possible to rescind old rules that no longer serve us but most of us don't know how to do this. It is simply the rescinding of all old vows that we have ever made in past lifetimes. This might need to be done more than once. The rule of thumb is that one should do this three times.
Once this is done, (or if done a couple of times over a period of time) one should be able to mover ahead and create things that seem impossible.
When was the last time you experienced what another person was thinking or feeling? Haven't you ever wanted to walk throught a wall? How about levitation? Or even manifesting what you want or need today? All things are possible when we let go of the barriers in our thinking.
I have been seeing these words creating a lot of problems for people. They vowed "Forever" or say "Always" and are stuck in that black hold where there is no end.
My son, Loren told me not to use those words because we have no way of knowing how they will affect our lives in the future.
Nothing should be always. If we have an always that goes on and on, how do we create something different to learn from? We need for things to end. I once took a class and they were teaching the anatomy of control. They said that to be in control of something means that you start it, change it and stop it.
So if you start something and it goes on forever, you are not in control? A lot of people start things but never finish them. Does that mean that their things go on forever? Usually it means the person involved is not in control of his world.
Then there are people who never start anything but they are always changing everything. Again, out of control.
How about the ones that want to put a stop to everything? "We can't do that anymore." "Don't chew gum." "Don't talk." they think that they are the ones in control but with all that stop, stop, they really lose more control than they gain. And the sad part is that they never get to start anything nice.
It must be very draining to never see a project completed. To wonder what it will look like whenever it does get done. I know that it is very annoying to have those around them, who are always changing things. And "Stop" usually can only create fear or resentment.
Always used to be a word that I like using. I will always be married, in love, faithful, of service, kind and so many other things that I tagged onto the always. Then I found out that "always" really doesn't service me as a person.
How about the vow of "always" to a mate in the years 1437 that is still being run out in 2007. They haven't figured out that they don't have to have this "always" in their lives but they are stuck in this rut. They have learned what they needed to from the two personalities but now are stuck with "always."
I have a sister that I am sure took a vows of poverty and servitude many lifetimes ago. She still has to give away anything that she gets so she never has enough for herself. Her vows are not serving her in this lifetime but she didn't really believe at the time that she said, "Forever" it was as long as it really is.
When one thinks about the vastness of the universe, the infinity of it all, why would a infinity God create a finite world? He didn't. At the end of this lifetime it doesn't say, THE END. God wouldn't have wanted it that way. He created us to experience and unless your life is much more exciting than mine...like they say in show business, you haven't seen nothing yet.
We get to experience the Good, the Bad and the Ugly, along with a whole lot more that makes living the adventure that it is.
Have you seen all the rainbows, all the sunsets, all the cute things that happen on a daily basis? No, because it takes a long time to do all of that.
When we put "always" out there it locks us into a future that is cyclical. When we have been locked-in for so long, it amazes me that some of us can function at all. We have all these old rules that hamper our present time decisions.
There are things that we would like to try but when we start them, we bump into our old rules. In order to be able to function in present time, we need to undo all our past vows that had "always" and "forever" attached. It is possible to rescind old rules that no longer serve us but most of us don't know how to do this. It is simply the rescinding of all old vows that we have ever made in past lifetimes. This might need to be done more than once. The rule of thumb is that one should do this three times.
Once this is done, (or if done a couple of times over a period of time) one should be able to mover ahead and create things that seem impossible.
When was the last time you experienced what another person was thinking or feeling? Haven't you ever wanted to walk throught a wall? How about levitation? Or even manifesting what you want or need today? All things are possible when we let go of the barriers in our thinking.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Life For Dummies
I just got a new computer and a Windows for Dummies book. How I wish that there was a Life for Dummies book to show me how to correct the things in my life that I am not pleased with. Wouldn’t it be great if we could “customize” the things in our lives or even “reset” something to be more to our liking? Life just doesn’t seem to happen that way.
Someone sets a program and we have to learn to adjust. Why do we have to learn to adjust to their program? I guess the alternative is to “read the book” as my son, Loren is always telling me. If you know how something works, it is a lot easier. Here in lies the problem, we don’t always know how it works.
My biggest problem is that I don’t always understand what is being said. Trying to figure out the lexicon is the hard part. What did that mean? How does that work? What is expected from me now? Sometimes we don’t even get words to help us figure things out in life. We only get actions. From an action we are supposed to sort out what our reaction should be. Do I walk on eggs? Do I keep probing to find out what it was that I don’t understand? Did I miss a pop-up that told me what to do?
One of the strangest things that happens is when you know that something has happened before and you try to remember how you dealt with it the last time. I guess when one hasn’t had to deal with an issue for a while, it is hard to remember how to straighten it up again. Sometimes just trying to figure out why it happened or what I did that created the situation is a puzzle. (Good thing that I like puzzles.)
When one opens the Life for Dummies book, the first chapter might be: Things that you are supposed to know and understand. (But no one really does.) We take a stab at everything and what we are dealing with for the most part we have to learn from the beginning.
I guess in that first chapter, they would start with relationships. It seems to be the biggest part of life. When one is a small child everyone is trying to socialize you. The first things to learn is about sharing, playing together and being a part of a group. We learn that people like to be together when everyone interacts nicely. So how do we program this into life? Play the game?
I heard an interview on TV given by a person from the Supreme Court, talking about how she managed a career and a home at the same time. She said that her best advice came from her Mother-in-law who told her to be deaf to most things in her marriage and everything would work out. I found that most interesting. Not sure that I could follow that but have been accused of not listening, so maybe I am already good at it.
Today a friend told me that sometimes we don’t understand relationships because they become unbalanced. One member is doing all the giving and the other member is doing all the receiving. A relationship like this creates tension. Relationships need to be in balance or resentment will be felt by both sides.
Yes, that is definitely the first chapter. One can get a things really messed up if one doesn’t know what they are doing. I wonder if there is a default button that one could press to start over and clean up what is out of order?
The second chapter might be about: How to do and complete things. Sometimes doing something can create an adjustment to a situation. Without communication, the systems will try to do the project but can not see it to completion. Here is where an instructions book would really come in handy. Then one could just look at page 13 and see that if I did this, that would happen or if I did that, it would happen in a different way. One would have a choice and understand the correct way to get a project completed. Without the manual, we struggle along trying to make things work. We fumble and have to re-adjust so many times that the system has trouble figuring out what we intend to do or create.
It is at about this phase in a project that the computer just freezes up and refuses to continue until it is rebooted. If we try to force the system when it is in this mode, it will not be happy in the future. In fact, I have found that unless one walks away for a while, the system will lose a lot of what it had been able to do. So backing off is a good idea. This allows everything to mellow and be ready for booting up at a later time. Sometimes it has been known to correct itself. Maybe it just needed time to get everything sorted out.
In the meantime, one must continue with life in whatever manner is best. When dealing with life, as when dealing with computers, study is needed to become more proficient in any area. But it sure would help to have a manual to read from time to time just to make sure that one is doing the right thing.
If you understand your manual, you are way ahead of the game. It is my experience that everyone received a different version of the book, making life a challenge for all of us. Just remember the secret is to walk away. Don’t try to reboot immediately. OK, so that is my experience.
Those of you with words of wisdom on how to understand PC (personal communication), please publish in my e-mail so that I can learn a little more about the game of life.
Someone sets a program and we have to learn to adjust. Why do we have to learn to adjust to their program? I guess the alternative is to “read the book” as my son, Loren is always telling me. If you know how something works, it is a lot easier. Here in lies the problem, we don’t always know how it works.
My biggest problem is that I don’t always understand what is being said. Trying to figure out the lexicon is the hard part. What did that mean? How does that work? What is expected from me now? Sometimes we don’t even get words to help us figure things out in life. We only get actions. From an action we are supposed to sort out what our reaction should be. Do I walk on eggs? Do I keep probing to find out what it was that I don’t understand? Did I miss a pop-up that told me what to do?
One of the strangest things that happens is when you know that something has happened before and you try to remember how you dealt with it the last time. I guess when one hasn’t had to deal with an issue for a while, it is hard to remember how to straighten it up again. Sometimes just trying to figure out why it happened or what I did that created the situation is a puzzle. (Good thing that I like puzzles.)
When one opens the Life for Dummies book, the first chapter might be: Things that you are supposed to know and understand. (But no one really does.) We take a stab at everything and what we are dealing with for the most part we have to learn from the beginning.
I guess in that first chapter, they would start with relationships. It seems to be the biggest part of life. When one is a small child everyone is trying to socialize you. The first things to learn is about sharing, playing together and being a part of a group. We learn that people like to be together when everyone interacts nicely. So how do we program this into life? Play the game?
I heard an interview on TV given by a person from the Supreme Court, talking about how she managed a career and a home at the same time. She said that her best advice came from her Mother-in-law who told her to be deaf to most things in her marriage and everything would work out. I found that most interesting. Not sure that I could follow that but have been accused of not listening, so maybe I am already good at it.
Today a friend told me that sometimes we don’t understand relationships because they become unbalanced. One member is doing all the giving and the other member is doing all the receiving. A relationship like this creates tension. Relationships need to be in balance or resentment will be felt by both sides.
Yes, that is definitely the first chapter. One can get a things really messed up if one doesn’t know what they are doing. I wonder if there is a default button that one could press to start over and clean up what is out of order?
The second chapter might be about: How to do and complete things. Sometimes doing something can create an adjustment to a situation. Without communication, the systems will try to do the project but can not see it to completion. Here is where an instructions book would really come in handy. Then one could just look at page 13 and see that if I did this, that would happen or if I did that, it would happen in a different way. One would have a choice and understand the correct way to get a project completed. Without the manual, we struggle along trying to make things work. We fumble and have to re-adjust so many times that the system has trouble figuring out what we intend to do or create.
It is at about this phase in a project that the computer just freezes up and refuses to continue until it is rebooted. If we try to force the system when it is in this mode, it will not be happy in the future. In fact, I have found that unless one walks away for a while, the system will lose a lot of what it had been able to do. So backing off is a good idea. This allows everything to mellow and be ready for booting up at a later time. Sometimes it has been known to correct itself. Maybe it just needed time to get everything sorted out.
In the meantime, one must continue with life in whatever manner is best. When dealing with life, as when dealing with computers, study is needed to become more proficient in any area. But it sure would help to have a manual to read from time to time just to make sure that one is doing the right thing.
If you understand your manual, you are way ahead of the game. It is my experience that everyone received a different version of the book, making life a challenge for all of us. Just remember the secret is to walk away. Don’t try to reboot immediately. OK, so that is my experience.
Those of you with words of wisdom on how to understand PC (personal communication), please publish in my e-mail so that I can learn a little more about the game of life.
Monday, May 14, 2007
Los Angeles
In 1957, after I found a job in Los Angeles at the Pacific Fire Rating Bureau, it was time to find a place to live. Mom and Dad were still out there so they helped me find a place that would be on a trolley line to work. The apartment that I ended up with was in the coach house over the garage on the property of a very large home near Mac Arthur Park. The whole property was enclosed with a fence overgrown with a tall hedge. I had to share a kitchen and a bathroom with two other ladies but it was nice and set back from the hassle of the street.
The next thing that my folks wanted to do was introduce me to relatives that lived in the area. First, we went to see my Mom’s cousin who lived in San Bernardino and worked as a window dresser for a very large department store. The four of us went to Disneyland together. This is when Disney was still in the process of building his first place. Many of the things that are there now, didn’t exists then. I remember going into Slue Foot Sue’s Saloon and having Fritos for the very first time in my life. Having always had potato chips, now I got to try corn chips. This was exciting.
Trying new things is an adventure in itself. This reminds me of the time my parents when to New York City in the ‘40s. They came back telling us about a vegetable pie that they had eaten and really liked. Vegetable pie didn’t sounds very good to us but later we found out that it was called Pizza Pie.
Back to my story…The next person that they introduced me to, was Dad’s cousin. I guess they just wanted me to have contacts in case I needed help. I didn’t think that I would bother either of these cousins but it was nice to have met them.
Mom and Dad soon headed for home and I went off to work. I was in a training program with three other people. I hadn’t brought a lunch that first day so one of the other trainees shared her lunch with me and we became good friends. I liked working there even riding the trolley back and forth in the heart of LA.
Then one day I got a call from Dad’s cousin, Barb. She wanted to know if I would like to go to church with her. I agreed and we met early Sunday to go to the one that she had picked out. It turned out that she and I were the only two white people there. We decided to try a different one the next weekend.
But the next weekend we went with her boyfriend out to the desert, Palm Springs to be exact. This was fun. I really didn’t think that we would be doing that much stuff together. She was a bit older and had a really good job managing Kaiser’s Los Angeles office.
The next time we went to church was at the big Methodist Church in downtown LA. We walked in and sat down. A little while after we sat down, a young lady came down the aisle and told us that they have a coffee hour on the third floor right after the service. She pointed out where the elevator was behind the stage up front.
Barb and I decide to stay and see what that was all about. After church we headed to the front and up the elevator. When we got off, people surrounded us. It was the habit of this group for all the boys to surround any new girl and the girls did the same to any new boy. As you can imagine, we met a lot of people fast.
On the way home, Barb and I laughed a lot about all of that and decided that we needed to attend that church more often.
The next week we learned that they had a volleyball game on Wednesday nights for anyone who wanted to come and that they had activities planned for Saturdays. There was a guy in charge of all the activities for this group. Maybe because the minister’s daughter’s were members, it was a very active group. One Saturday we might pile into cars and go to a church member’s house to go swimming in their pool. The next Saturday might be a beach party at Redondo Beach. There was always something to do with this group.
By the time my sister, Betty came out and found a job at a bank, we were very active with this group. Barb’s boss wanted her to go to New York and clean up his office so she took off. After that it was just Betty and myself. Betty and I used to take our bathing suits to church on Sunday and talk some unsuspecting guy into taking us to the beach afterward. We even talked one into taking us to a Red Cross First Aid Class. We were good at talking people into stuff.
At this same time, one of my supervisors at work named Clayton was in charge of double-checking our work. He also had to deal directly with the insurance people. We were assigned numbers and if there was a problem, the insurance representative might call and ask for number 41. Then we had to explain why we had tagged something of his the way we had. Clayton took these calls and would have us come to the phone and talk to the representatives. One day Clayton called me to the phone. I looked over the policy in question before I went to the phone and I could see where he was probably right so I was ready to apologize.
I took the phone and told the man on the other end that I was sorry that his policy got tagged but that if he would send it back or bring it in, I would be happy to fix the problem. I mentioned that I was glad that he had caught this. After humbling myself as much as I could, this man had the gall to ask me what I was wearing. This upset me and I started to get angry. I repeated myself as calmly as I could about fixing the problem, but he just kept asking personal questions. (I didn’t know that this was a set up.) Clayton was laughing and I was just getting angry. Finally I hung up on the guy. Clayton told me that this man worked two floors above us and he had asked Clayton to watch for something that I might do wrong so he could call me on it. The policy in question wasn't even his.
Later that day he came down and Clayton introduced me to him. He asked if I would like to go to lunch across the street tomorrow. I agreed on the condition that Clayton would come with us. He agreed to this and so did Clayton. That is how I met my first husband.
He invited me to meet his parents and I invited him to church on a beach party Saturday. I had moved and my old landlady called to tell me that I had a package at my place. She wanted to know if I could I stop by and pick it up. Betty and I agreed that I would catch up at church and we both took off in different directions. When I got to church, here was this poor man standing in the middle of the crowd of women. (He probably really liked it.)
The beach party was great but Betty and I already had plans to head back to Wisconsin. I corresponded with this man until he finally came to Wisconsin about 6 months later. We got married a year and a couple of months after I met him.
It was an interesting time to be in LA.
The next thing that my folks wanted to do was introduce me to relatives that lived in the area. First, we went to see my Mom’s cousin who lived in San Bernardino and worked as a window dresser for a very large department store. The four of us went to Disneyland together. This is when Disney was still in the process of building his first place. Many of the things that are there now, didn’t exists then. I remember going into Slue Foot Sue’s Saloon and having Fritos for the very first time in my life. Having always had potato chips, now I got to try corn chips. This was exciting.
Trying new things is an adventure in itself. This reminds me of the time my parents when to New York City in the ‘40s. They came back telling us about a vegetable pie that they had eaten and really liked. Vegetable pie didn’t sounds very good to us but later we found out that it was called Pizza Pie.
Back to my story…The next person that they introduced me to, was Dad’s cousin. I guess they just wanted me to have contacts in case I needed help. I didn’t think that I would bother either of these cousins but it was nice to have met them.
Mom and Dad soon headed for home and I went off to work. I was in a training program with three other people. I hadn’t brought a lunch that first day so one of the other trainees shared her lunch with me and we became good friends. I liked working there even riding the trolley back and forth in the heart of LA.
Then one day I got a call from Dad’s cousin, Barb. She wanted to know if I would like to go to church with her. I agreed and we met early Sunday to go to the one that she had picked out. It turned out that she and I were the only two white people there. We decided to try a different one the next weekend.
But the next weekend we went with her boyfriend out to the desert, Palm Springs to be exact. This was fun. I really didn’t think that we would be doing that much stuff together. She was a bit older and had a really good job managing Kaiser’s Los Angeles office.
The next time we went to church was at the big Methodist Church in downtown LA. We walked in and sat down. A little while after we sat down, a young lady came down the aisle and told us that they have a coffee hour on the third floor right after the service. She pointed out where the elevator was behind the stage up front.
Barb and I decide to stay and see what that was all about. After church we headed to the front and up the elevator. When we got off, people surrounded us. It was the habit of this group for all the boys to surround any new girl and the girls did the same to any new boy. As you can imagine, we met a lot of people fast.
On the way home, Barb and I laughed a lot about all of that and decided that we needed to attend that church more often.
The next week we learned that they had a volleyball game on Wednesday nights for anyone who wanted to come and that they had activities planned for Saturdays. There was a guy in charge of all the activities for this group. Maybe because the minister’s daughter’s were members, it was a very active group. One Saturday we might pile into cars and go to a church member’s house to go swimming in their pool. The next Saturday might be a beach party at Redondo Beach. There was always something to do with this group.
By the time my sister, Betty came out and found a job at a bank, we were very active with this group. Barb’s boss wanted her to go to New York and clean up his office so she took off. After that it was just Betty and myself. Betty and I used to take our bathing suits to church on Sunday and talk some unsuspecting guy into taking us to the beach afterward. We even talked one into taking us to a Red Cross First Aid Class. We were good at talking people into stuff.
At this same time, one of my supervisors at work named Clayton was in charge of double-checking our work. He also had to deal directly with the insurance people. We were assigned numbers and if there was a problem, the insurance representative might call and ask for number 41. Then we had to explain why we had tagged something of his the way we had. Clayton took these calls and would have us come to the phone and talk to the representatives. One day Clayton called me to the phone. I looked over the policy in question before I went to the phone and I could see where he was probably right so I was ready to apologize.
I took the phone and told the man on the other end that I was sorry that his policy got tagged but that if he would send it back or bring it in, I would be happy to fix the problem. I mentioned that I was glad that he had caught this. After humbling myself as much as I could, this man had the gall to ask me what I was wearing. This upset me and I started to get angry. I repeated myself as calmly as I could about fixing the problem, but he just kept asking personal questions. (I didn’t know that this was a set up.) Clayton was laughing and I was just getting angry. Finally I hung up on the guy. Clayton told me that this man worked two floors above us and he had asked Clayton to watch for something that I might do wrong so he could call me on it. The policy in question wasn't even his.
Later that day he came down and Clayton introduced me to him. He asked if I would like to go to lunch across the street tomorrow. I agreed on the condition that Clayton would come with us. He agreed to this and so did Clayton. That is how I met my first husband.
He invited me to meet his parents and I invited him to church on a beach party Saturday. I had moved and my old landlady called to tell me that I had a package at my place. She wanted to know if I could I stop by and pick it up. Betty and I agreed that I would catch up at church and we both took off in different directions. When I got to church, here was this poor man standing in the middle of the crowd of women. (He probably really liked it.)
The beach party was great but Betty and I already had plans to head back to Wisconsin. I corresponded with this man until he finally came to Wisconsin about 6 months later. We got married a year and a couple of months after I met him.
It was an interesting time to be in LA.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Spring
Just the word SPRING denotes excitement, expecting. What are we expecting or excited about? Some how being excited about a seasonal change just doesn't seem to fit the feeling that is welling up inside. We see new life around us and we are overwhelmed by it all
Many years ago a very wise lady told me, as I was planting a package of seeds, that I should not be upset when only 80 of the 100 sees germinate but should marvel at the fact that 80 of them were filled with life.
Life is a precious thing and yet we take it so much for granted. Life, to life and experience everything around us, is a gift. After all we could have been part of the 20% that didn't get that chance.
Today bulbs are peeking their heads out of the gound knowing what they are supposed to do. They are looking forward to being the best that they were designed to be.
We are all programmed to be the best at whatever we are meant to be. How then do some of these seeds fail? In the Bible, I remember that some of the seeds fell on rocky soil. Yet I know of seeds that have been raised on very rocky ground but have pulled themselves up to be wonderful beings. So I guess that I don't understand that Bible reference. It would be easy to be wonderful and fulfill our destiny if we were raised in a perfect background. That doesn't always happen.
Spring is the time to dream, hope and wonder at everything around us. Most of us are trying to find what our purpose is. (What we have been programmed to do or be) According to my son, the purpose of life is to help. All of us feel good when we are helping.
Do you think that birds know they are helping when they are sitting on the tree outside my window chirping? I hope so because it does help to lift ones feelings. Maybe helping isn't a big thing, like inventing free energy but it is the little things that we do for each other. Sometimes it is just listening.
Is it possible that we all have been given talents to use in helping others? A painter, paints and in so doing, lifts the spirit of another. A singer, sings and does the same thing. So then all we really have to do is to find what our talent is, we will then know how to help others.
Spring seems to bring out the best in people, the expectation to do better. (And you thought it was the New Year's resolutions.) Spring is growth in everything including humans. I guess we need to work out the best way to do this.
Many years ago a very wise lady told me, as I was planting a package of seeds, that I should not be upset when only 80 of the 100 sees germinate but should marvel at the fact that 80 of them were filled with life.
Life is a precious thing and yet we take it so much for granted. Life, to life and experience everything around us, is a gift. After all we could have been part of the 20% that didn't get that chance.
Today bulbs are peeking their heads out of the gound knowing what they are supposed to do. They are looking forward to being the best that they were designed to be.
We are all programmed to be the best at whatever we are meant to be. How then do some of these seeds fail? In the Bible, I remember that some of the seeds fell on rocky soil. Yet I know of seeds that have been raised on very rocky ground but have pulled themselves up to be wonderful beings. So I guess that I don't understand that Bible reference. It would be easy to be wonderful and fulfill our destiny if we were raised in a perfect background. That doesn't always happen.
Spring is the time to dream, hope and wonder at everything around us. Most of us are trying to find what our purpose is. (What we have been programmed to do or be) According to my son, the purpose of life is to help. All of us feel good when we are helping.
Do you think that birds know they are helping when they are sitting on the tree outside my window chirping? I hope so because it does help to lift ones feelings. Maybe helping isn't a big thing, like inventing free energy but it is the little things that we do for each other. Sometimes it is just listening.
Is it possible that we all have been given talents to use in helping others? A painter, paints and in so doing, lifts the spirit of another. A singer, sings and does the same thing. So then all we really have to do is to find what our talent is, we will then know how to help others.
Spring seems to bring out the best in people, the expectation to do better. (And you thought it was the New Year's resolutions.) Spring is growth in everything including humans. I guess we need to work out the best way to do this.
Friday, May 11, 2007
Winning the Pennant
In the fall of 1957, the Braves won the National Baseball pennant for that year. They were the Milwaukee Braves and to this day I have never forgiven them for moving to Atlanta. Why would they do that to a town that fully supported them? I know it was money. It is always money, but let me tell you about the support story.
At that time my sister Betty and I were going to school in Milwaukee. I remember the day that the Braves were to play their last game and everyone was on pins and needles expecting the best. The whole town was buzzing.
My class from Layton had been taken to the museum to sketch bones for the afternoon. The museum at that time was on the upper floors of the present-time library in Milwaukee. Our assignment was to sketch 5 bone groupings and then we were allowed to leave. The first three were done rather nicely but the last two, drawn after all the bells and whistles in town went off, were barely there. I showed my drawings to the instructor and left to find Betty.
Betty was at her school on Wisconsin Avenue but trying to get down the street was a challenge. Wisconsin Avenue (Milwaukee’s main street) was full of people from one side to the other. I only saw a couple of cars and one of them was upside down. Everyone was drinking and shouting. It was a town out of control and loving it. All The Marquette bells were ringing. I can imagine some excited students hanging on the ropes with no idea of ever letting go. All the Factory whistles were blowing from various parts of town. It was wonderful!
When I finally got to her school, they were ready to leave too so we started wandering down the street. I grabbed the bottom of a pennant that some guy in front of me had over his shoulder. He turned around along with his buddies. They were from the Great Lakes naval base. We ended up following them into a restaurant where they invited us to have dinner with them. We did.
That was the beginning of “some” night. We ran into our other two roommates, Slim and Rosemary. Navy wanted to take Slim and Betty out but at that time we all headed down the main street again. (They did connect up days later) We ended up as part of a snake dance that was winding its way up and down Wisconsin Avenue. I remember letting go of the person ahead of me in time to grab a beer that someone had just pop a tab on.
One of the guys from my school had a trumpet and was playing parts of a fight song. Every time he would stop playing, someone would put a bottle on the white line in the middle of Wisconsin Avenue. I think this started in front of the Marc Plaza Hotel (The most up-scale hotel in Milwaukee at that time) There were champagne bottles, wine bottles and beer bottles making a glass line down the street and the rest of us drunks had to step over it with our snake dancing. Finally the chant from the crowd around the trumpet player was, “To the Lake, to the lake.” They were intending to make a line of bottles from mid-town Milwaukee to Lake Michigan. (Less than a mile from the hotel.)
Milwaukee was a proud city that day. No one was out there to “handle” the situation. There was no traffic to handle, the downtown was wall to wall people who were very proud and excited. The street lights and stop lights were just decoration that evening.
Do you think that this could ever happen today, that a population could be allowed to be that “out of control?” We Have become a fear-based people living in under an orange threat condition (The national threat colors are very good at creating fear.) Our Mayors and City Councilmen wouldn’t be able to allow this much freedom in today’s world.
I do know that even way back then there were people who locked themselves into their houses and apartments that day because of fear. Had I not been in the middle of all of it, perhaps I too would have thought everyone had lost their minds but sometimes we need to let go and live. What was it that Deborah Kerr said in AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER? “Winter must be cold for those who have no warm memories.” The night that the Braves won the pennant was a warm memory. Make some warm memories today for your tomorrows.
At that time my sister Betty and I were going to school in Milwaukee. I remember the day that the Braves were to play their last game and everyone was on pins and needles expecting the best. The whole town was buzzing.
My class from Layton had been taken to the museum to sketch bones for the afternoon. The museum at that time was on the upper floors of the present-time library in Milwaukee. Our assignment was to sketch 5 bone groupings and then we were allowed to leave. The first three were done rather nicely but the last two, drawn after all the bells and whistles in town went off, were barely there. I showed my drawings to the instructor and left to find Betty.
Betty was at her school on Wisconsin Avenue but trying to get down the street was a challenge. Wisconsin Avenue (Milwaukee’s main street) was full of people from one side to the other. I only saw a couple of cars and one of them was upside down. Everyone was drinking and shouting. It was a town out of control and loving it. All The Marquette bells were ringing. I can imagine some excited students hanging on the ropes with no idea of ever letting go. All the Factory whistles were blowing from various parts of town. It was wonderful!
When I finally got to her school, they were ready to leave too so we started wandering down the street. I grabbed the bottom of a pennant that some guy in front of me had over his shoulder. He turned around along with his buddies. They were from the Great Lakes naval base. We ended up following them into a restaurant where they invited us to have dinner with them. We did.
That was the beginning of “some” night. We ran into our other two roommates, Slim and Rosemary. Navy wanted to take Slim and Betty out but at that time we all headed down the main street again. (They did connect up days later) We ended up as part of a snake dance that was winding its way up and down Wisconsin Avenue. I remember letting go of the person ahead of me in time to grab a beer that someone had just pop a tab on.
One of the guys from my school had a trumpet and was playing parts of a fight song. Every time he would stop playing, someone would put a bottle on the white line in the middle of Wisconsin Avenue. I think this started in front of the Marc Plaza Hotel (The most up-scale hotel in Milwaukee at that time) There were champagne bottles, wine bottles and beer bottles making a glass line down the street and the rest of us drunks had to step over it with our snake dancing. Finally the chant from the crowd around the trumpet player was, “To the Lake, to the lake.” They were intending to make a line of bottles from mid-town Milwaukee to Lake Michigan. (Less than a mile from the hotel.)
Milwaukee was a proud city that day. No one was out there to “handle” the situation. There was no traffic to handle, the downtown was wall to wall people who were very proud and excited. The street lights and stop lights were just decoration that evening.
Do you think that this could ever happen today, that a population could be allowed to be that “out of control?” We Have become a fear-based people living in under an orange threat condition (The national threat colors are very good at creating fear.) Our Mayors and City Councilmen wouldn’t be able to allow this much freedom in today’s world.
I do know that even way back then there were people who locked themselves into their houses and apartments that day because of fear. Had I not been in the middle of all of it, perhaps I too would have thought everyone had lost their minds but sometimes we need to let go and live. What was it that Deborah Kerr said in AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER? “Winter must be cold for those who have no warm memories.” The night that the Braves won the pennant was a warm memory. Make some warm memories today for your tomorrows.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Being a Shaman
What would it be like to be a Shaman, a healer and leader? One has to “know thyself” well. One has to understand what powers are available and how to use them.
It is my belief that at one time, this was my responsibility. Maybe it still is? As I learned about the healing herbs, I know that this is not a new thing for me to learn. I have just gotten reacquainted with one of my talents.
My tribe still brings things to me to heal. Yesterday one of them was being attacked by something not nice. Herbs aren’t the only way to heal. Sometimes we have to listen to the inside of ourselves to find out which way would be the best way to handle a particular situation. Sometimes the Shaman must use his power to protect the tribe from enemies, seen or unseen. We use what has the most power for the situation. We suggest what would be the best protection in any case.
Doing ceremonies seem to come natural to me along with moving the energy of the sky to Mother Earth or the other way around. Moving energy from one place to another is part of the job, as is blocking energy that would be harmful.
When Aunt Ruth died, my sister’s and I were out of the area. It didn’t seem all that strange to do a candlelight service for her by her grave stone for the cousins. This is part of the Shaman’s job for this tribe.
Saying Good-bye to a wonderful lady was something that I felt good about. Talking about the memories that all of us have, was a wonderful way to say good-bye. Perhaps that is why I have my funeral all planned and it isn’t going to take place in a building with all the "holy" rules of the day.
When we went to a medicine wheel in Sedonia, I asked if I could do a blessing there with the eucalyptus leaves that I had collected along the Colorado River. It felt right to give thanks and praise to the four corners of the Earth and also to Father Sky and Mother earth.
Why do I feel so close to this dimension of my world? How about the time that I watched Dances With Wolves for the first time, I couldn’t stop crying. It was so real to me. I cried as I hauled a blanket outside along with some yarn and some feathers that I had been given. I sat on my blanket and wove the feathers into braids of yarn. Finally I got it just about the way I wanted it and went into the garage to find a pole. I made a circle of some vine that I attached to the pole, then attached the feathered cords to it and stood this up in the front yard garden. (The P garden, anchored by a pear tree and a peach tree.) I asked how to explain it to others and was told that it was a blessing for our property. I watched as the feathers twirled on the ends of their braids. I was told to put more blue on it so I hot glued some blue rocks and shells that I had. Then I could feel that it was done.
Sometimes the information is just there and sometimes one has to allow it to come. Shamans deal with all kinds of things and what ever works is the right thing.
About 10 years ago Donna wasn’t feeling well one day so I told her that she could come to my house or stay home. She decided that she wanted to be at my house. I had her lie on the davenport in the den and told her to sleep. I lighted about 20 candles all over the room. She woke up and told me that she thought she had died with all the candles glowing. I asked how she felt and she told me that she felt better. Why did the candles work? I have no idea but I felt that candles were needed.
One time I put rocks all over her to pull out the negativity and ground her. She was open to anything even if she didn’t understand it and just thought I was nuts. (not an unusual thought from most people)
How I think isn’t in line with how most people think. If you have read a lot of my stories, you already know that my life doesn’t travel in a “normal” direction. What kind of magical powers do we have? We have a lot of powers if we aren’t afraid to use them. One of my mentors told me that the beings in bodies are more powerful than the beings without bodies. I have used that information several times. We have been empowered with intuitive brains that are ready to tell us what we need to know. Our “librarian” has so much information that can be accessed for any occasion. So why don’t most people know about this, because they are so afraid of looking different.
When one walks in many worlds, they seem to be different from those around them but in truth they aren’t, because there is only one world. We all live here even the unseen live here. May I always use my power for the greatest good!
It is my belief that at one time, this was my responsibility. Maybe it still is? As I learned about the healing herbs, I know that this is not a new thing for me to learn. I have just gotten reacquainted with one of my talents.
My tribe still brings things to me to heal. Yesterday one of them was being attacked by something not nice. Herbs aren’t the only way to heal. Sometimes we have to listen to the inside of ourselves to find out which way would be the best way to handle a particular situation. Sometimes the Shaman must use his power to protect the tribe from enemies, seen or unseen. We use what has the most power for the situation. We suggest what would be the best protection in any case.
Doing ceremonies seem to come natural to me along with moving the energy of the sky to Mother Earth or the other way around. Moving energy from one place to another is part of the job, as is blocking energy that would be harmful.
When Aunt Ruth died, my sister’s and I were out of the area. It didn’t seem all that strange to do a candlelight service for her by her grave stone for the cousins. This is part of the Shaman’s job for this tribe.
Saying Good-bye to a wonderful lady was something that I felt good about. Talking about the memories that all of us have, was a wonderful way to say good-bye. Perhaps that is why I have my funeral all planned and it isn’t going to take place in a building with all the "holy" rules of the day.
When we went to a medicine wheel in Sedonia, I asked if I could do a blessing there with the eucalyptus leaves that I had collected along the Colorado River. It felt right to give thanks and praise to the four corners of the Earth and also to Father Sky and Mother earth.
Why do I feel so close to this dimension of my world? How about the time that I watched Dances With Wolves for the first time, I couldn’t stop crying. It was so real to me. I cried as I hauled a blanket outside along with some yarn and some feathers that I had been given. I sat on my blanket and wove the feathers into braids of yarn. Finally I got it just about the way I wanted it and went into the garage to find a pole. I made a circle of some vine that I attached to the pole, then attached the feathered cords to it and stood this up in the front yard garden. (The P garden, anchored by a pear tree and a peach tree.) I asked how to explain it to others and was told that it was a blessing for our property. I watched as the feathers twirled on the ends of their braids. I was told to put more blue on it so I hot glued some blue rocks and shells that I had. Then I could feel that it was done.
Sometimes the information is just there and sometimes one has to allow it to come. Shamans deal with all kinds of things and what ever works is the right thing.
About 10 years ago Donna wasn’t feeling well one day so I told her that she could come to my house or stay home. She decided that she wanted to be at my house. I had her lie on the davenport in the den and told her to sleep. I lighted about 20 candles all over the room. She woke up and told me that she thought she had died with all the candles glowing. I asked how she felt and she told me that she felt better. Why did the candles work? I have no idea but I felt that candles were needed.
One time I put rocks all over her to pull out the negativity and ground her. She was open to anything even if she didn’t understand it and just thought I was nuts. (not an unusual thought from most people)
How I think isn’t in line with how most people think. If you have read a lot of my stories, you already know that my life doesn’t travel in a “normal” direction. What kind of magical powers do we have? We have a lot of powers if we aren’t afraid to use them. One of my mentors told me that the beings in bodies are more powerful than the beings without bodies. I have used that information several times. We have been empowered with intuitive brains that are ready to tell us what we need to know. Our “librarian” has so much information that can be accessed for any occasion. So why don’t most people know about this, because they are so afraid of looking different.
When one walks in many worlds, they seem to be different from those around them but in truth they aren’t, because there is only one world. We all live here even the unseen live here. May I always use my power for the greatest good!
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
Camp Bird
I was always one of the smallest kids in my class as I was growing up. Sometimes that was good and sometimes that wasn’t. I guess I will tell you a good thing about being short.
A lot of summers as a child, my sister’s and I went to church camp at Camp Bird in Crivitz. It was a very nice camp with a large main hall and cabins on either side of this hall. One side was the girl’s cabins, about five to eight of them and on the other side were the boys. Below the main hall, down a “Trillion” steps was the lake but before you got to the lake there was a fire pit where everyone met for certain events.
After having gone to this camp for a few years, one knows where everything is. Usually some of the other kids from our hometown would be there and there were a lot of wonderful strangers from all over the northern part of Wisconsin. This was in the “olden days” when people actually wrote letters and some of us wrote to people that we met at camp, all though the year. We always looked forward to going to summer camp.
I remember when we would get home, the three of us would put plays on for the family and show them what we learned. Basically my sisters and I were stage hams. We would show them the songs that we learned and some serious stuff at times too. It was fun to get home and invite the whole family over for our events.
The summer that I was about to be married, I volunteered to go as a counselor. Having been there as a camper for the last eight years, it sounded like fun. The minister that was going to marry us suggested that it would be a nice thing to do. I think he didn’t want me to get nervous before the big day.
I arrived in my father’s car and checked in. I was told that I had cabin 3 and that only four of my six kids had checked in already. So taking my bedroll and suitcase, I headed to cabin 3. I walked in and there were the four girls making their beds. They were giggling and chatting like girls are supposed to. They were friendly and include me by telling me that they planned to short sheet the counselor’s bed that night. Hey, some of these kids were a lot taller than me, so they thought I had been assigned to this cabin too. We had a great laugh. Soon the other two arrived. Everyone was meeting everyone else. Then there was all the busy work of hanging up clothes on the hooks near their beds and making sure that their clocks were wound. Lots of girl talk and chatter basically they were a great group of teens.
Soon an older lady came to our door and asked if the counselor was there. I stepped forward and watched mouths drop as I accepted the roster and rules. I read them aloud and with a big grin, told them that they could short sheet my bed but I would be checking it all the time.
It turned out to be a wonderful cabin and they melted into a great group. Early every morning, we had to go to the fire-pit for Morning Services and this crew made sure that everyone got there, awake or not.
At meals the counselors were assigned to sit at the end of tables so I found myself sitting next to two preteen boys who wanted to challenge me on everything. Their biggest challenge was about how boys were much better at everything than girls. (Very preteen) For some reason these two boys followed me from table to table all week. The challenges continued for a good part of the week. One day the challenge was that boys could catch more fish than girls could.
My Mom loved to fish and by the time I was 11, Dad had taught me how to fillet a fish so that you don’t have to gut it. I was up to this challenge. We decided to test this the next day and the boys were thrilled. The next morning at 4:00 am. I climbed out of bed, put clothes over my pajamas and headed to the lake. The three of us, two preteen boys and myself climbed into a boat and paddled out on the lake. The boys had fishing poles and worms, we were ready. We agreed that who ever caught the least amount of fish by Morning Service, had to clean all of them in the main-hall kitchen.
I caught three and they each caught one. So off to the kitchen they went. I showed them how to fillet the fish and told them that they had to cook it for my dinner that night. They agreed. I have a hunch that the cook did it for them but I will give them the benefit of the doubt.
Unfortunately, I got caught. At the counselor’s meeting that day, I was told that no one was allowed on the lake before Morning Services. I hadn’t seen it written in anything, but it was their game so…
I did have fish for dinner, not bad for a girl.
A lot of summers as a child, my sister’s and I went to church camp at Camp Bird in Crivitz. It was a very nice camp with a large main hall and cabins on either side of this hall. One side was the girl’s cabins, about five to eight of them and on the other side were the boys. Below the main hall, down a “Trillion” steps was the lake but before you got to the lake there was a fire pit where everyone met for certain events.
After having gone to this camp for a few years, one knows where everything is. Usually some of the other kids from our hometown would be there and there were a lot of wonderful strangers from all over the northern part of Wisconsin. This was in the “olden days” when people actually wrote letters and some of us wrote to people that we met at camp, all though the year. We always looked forward to going to summer camp.
I remember when we would get home, the three of us would put plays on for the family and show them what we learned. Basically my sisters and I were stage hams. We would show them the songs that we learned and some serious stuff at times too. It was fun to get home and invite the whole family over for our events.
The summer that I was about to be married, I volunteered to go as a counselor. Having been there as a camper for the last eight years, it sounded like fun. The minister that was going to marry us suggested that it would be a nice thing to do. I think he didn’t want me to get nervous before the big day.
I arrived in my father’s car and checked in. I was told that I had cabin 3 and that only four of my six kids had checked in already. So taking my bedroll and suitcase, I headed to cabin 3. I walked in and there were the four girls making their beds. They were giggling and chatting like girls are supposed to. They were friendly and include me by telling me that they planned to short sheet the counselor’s bed that night. Hey, some of these kids were a lot taller than me, so they thought I had been assigned to this cabin too. We had a great laugh. Soon the other two arrived. Everyone was meeting everyone else. Then there was all the busy work of hanging up clothes on the hooks near their beds and making sure that their clocks were wound. Lots of girl talk and chatter basically they were a great group of teens.
Soon an older lady came to our door and asked if the counselor was there. I stepped forward and watched mouths drop as I accepted the roster and rules. I read them aloud and with a big grin, told them that they could short sheet my bed but I would be checking it all the time.
It turned out to be a wonderful cabin and they melted into a great group. Early every morning, we had to go to the fire-pit for Morning Services and this crew made sure that everyone got there, awake or not.
At meals the counselors were assigned to sit at the end of tables so I found myself sitting next to two preteen boys who wanted to challenge me on everything. Their biggest challenge was about how boys were much better at everything than girls. (Very preteen) For some reason these two boys followed me from table to table all week. The challenges continued for a good part of the week. One day the challenge was that boys could catch more fish than girls could.
My Mom loved to fish and by the time I was 11, Dad had taught me how to fillet a fish so that you don’t have to gut it. I was up to this challenge. We decided to test this the next day and the boys were thrilled. The next morning at 4:00 am. I climbed out of bed, put clothes over my pajamas and headed to the lake. The three of us, two preteen boys and myself climbed into a boat and paddled out on the lake. The boys had fishing poles and worms, we were ready. We agreed that who ever caught the least amount of fish by Morning Service, had to clean all of them in the main-hall kitchen.
I caught three and they each caught one. So off to the kitchen they went. I showed them how to fillet the fish and told them that they had to cook it for my dinner that night. They agreed. I have a hunch that the cook did it for them but I will give them the benefit of the doubt.
Unfortunately, I got caught. At the counselor’s meeting that day, I was told that no one was allowed on the lake before Morning Services. I hadn’t seen it written in anything, but it was their game so…
I did have fish for dinner, not bad for a girl.
Monday, May 7, 2007
The Dark Night
People talk about “the dark night of the soul”, what do they mean? Does it mean trials that one goes through only to come out shining on the other side like having the sun come up in the morning? And is the dark night, a long period or short period of time. One tends to think that a night is a short period of time, like in, "if I can just get through this, everything will turn around when the sun comes up and the shadows are gone."
Some of the people that I know who are traveling through this have been doing it for years. How draining it must be to never see the sun peek out from time to time. My only hope is that they get glimpses of the future and know that this is only temporary. How could one continue if they didn’t? That brings me to the question that only they would pose, “Why continue?”
When I used to talk to teens in the High Schools about Suicide prevention, I talked about the fact that suicide is just one of many options. Most of the time we are so close to the situation that we only see that one solution but there are many. Everyone has seen that as an option and discarded it in favor of one of the many others or they wouldn’t be here. But when you are living day to day with your dragons, maybe it becomes the focus, the only option?
Both my grandfather and my great-grandfather took their own lives while wrestling with their dragons. In the 60’s, I even looked at it as a way out but today I understand that there are many ways out of everything.
For the most part my life has been full of sunshine but yes, I have felt hurt and sorrow, so I can feel what other people tell me about. I think that I have been blessed in this manner to be able to walk with others through their “Dark nights”. So many people are trying to sort out and claw their way through the shadows that seem to press in on their lives. Many times I think it is the junk that they have created but because I know about reincarnation, I understand that they are burning off some past-life stuff. That doesn’t make it any easier.
When I stand by and watch someone hurting so much and am not able to alleviate even a tiny bit, it hurts to the very core of me. Why have I been given the gift of seeing and not be able to help?
I listen with the hope that maybe, just maybe I can help them find a way out. Sometimes in the past I have used my resources to assist them but it is only a temporary band-aid for a very serious problem that only they can find their way out of.
Some people get so entangled in their junk that they withdraw from the rest of the world and leave most of their resources to fight the dragons of their lives alone, without any armor.
When they have reached out to others, there are many reactions. One that has been explained to me is that no one seems to understand. It is hard for those living in the sunshine to understand what constant dark looks like. Another reactions is, that they must be mentally ill and need to be drugged. Do you have any idea what that does to a person living in the dark already without any armor of any kind to be put on drugs? They are victims of the “sunshine” people.
Let’s look at a hypothetical situation. We have a person who is burning off the residue of being one of the holocaust victims in a past lifetime. This person is withdrawn and afraid of just about anything. Now let’s drug him. Somehow this just doesn’t work for me. He is living with demons that you and I can’t even imagine.
I know of three such persons in my life that I can only stand by ready to help when they want it. It is a very helpless feeling. When I ask if there is something that I can do at this point in any of their lives, my guides tell me, “No”.
So where do I go from here? I can only send them my love that they can find themselves or are able to do what they need to do to become the shining being that they really are. I need to stay strong because in the future they will emerge as newborns without the skills to function in this ever-changing world. I need to find joy in the world around me and stay as positive as possible to be ready to go to work when called on.
I guess I have my work cut out for me.
Some of the people that I know who are traveling through this have been doing it for years. How draining it must be to never see the sun peek out from time to time. My only hope is that they get glimpses of the future and know that this is only temporary. How could one continue if they didn’t? That brings me to the question that only they would pose, “Why continue?”
When I used to talk to teens in the High Schools about Suicide prevention, I talked about the fact that suicide is just one of many options. Most of the time we are so close to the situation that we only see that one solution but there are many. Everyone has seen that as an option and discarded it in favor of one of the many others or they wouldn’t be here. But when you are living day to day with your dragons, maybe it becomes the focus, the only option?
Both my grandfather and my great-grandfather took their own lives while wrestling with their dragons. In the 60’s, I even looked at it as a way out but today I understand that there are many ways out of everything.
For the most part my life has been full of sunshine but yes, I have felt hurt and sorrow, so I can feel what other people tell me about. I think that I have been blessed in this manner to be able to walk with others through their “Dark nights”. So many people are trying to sort out and claw their way through the shadows that seem to press in on their lives. Many times I think it is the junk that they have created but because I know about reincarnation, I understand that they are burning off some past-life stuff. That doesn’t make it any easier.
When I stand by and watch someone hurting so much and am not able to alleviate even a tiny bit, it hurts to the very core of me. Why have I been given the gift of seeing and not be able to help?
I listen with the hope that maybe, just maybe I can help them find a way out. Sometimes in the past I have used my resources to assist them but it is only a temporary band-aid for a very serious problem that only they can find their way out of.
Some people get so entangled in their junk that they withdraw from the rest of the world and leave most of their resources to fight the dragons of their lives alone, without any armor.
When they have reached out to others, there are many reactions. One that has been explained to me is that no one seems to understand. It is hard for those living in the sunshine to understand what constant dark looks like. Another reactions is, that they must be mentally ill and need to be drugged. Do you have any idea what that does to a person living in the dark already without any armor of any kind to be put on drugs? They are victims of the “sunshine” people.
Let’s look at a hypothetical situation. We have a person who is burning off the residue of being one of the holocaust victims in a past lifetime. This person is withdrawn and afraid of just about anything. Now let’s drug him. Somehow this just doesn’t work for me. He is living with demons that you and I can’t even imagine.
I know of three such persons in my life that I can only stand by ready to help when they want it. It is a very helpless feeling. When I ask if there is something that I can do at this point in any of their lives, my guides tell me, “No”.
So where do I go from here? I can only send them my love that they can find themselves or are able to do what they need to do to become the shining being that they really are. I need to stay strong because in the future they will emerge as newborns without the skills to function in this ever-changing world. I need to find joy in the world around me and stay as positive as possible to be ready to go to work when called on.
I guess I have my work cut out for me.
Sunday, May 6, 2007
Snow
For some reason I feel pulled to talk about snow. This is crystals of water that reflect the wonder of the world around it.
I have some very wonderful snow memories. In present time, I even make new ones when it snows. When I see it has snowed or is still snowing and the plows haven’t been around, I bundle up into a snowmobile suit along with my boots and go for a walk. I love to have the flakes land on my eyelashes or face. (Such a clean feeling.) Because the road isn’t plowed, I can shuffle along in the snow, never having to pick up my feet. I do a lot of lazy things that I just do because I enjoy doing them.
Sometimes I take a camera with me to capture the beings around me that have been frosted with an inch of snow. The lights and dark contras are wonderful and exciting. These pictures always urge me to get my watercolors out and have fun with them too.
Wandering into a wooded area, I might just “plunk” down in the snow and survey the area around me. Maybe see if I am the first being to be in that area.
I remember one time when the boys had their snowmobile. One of them came home to tell me that they were “stuck” in the woods. I dressed up, got some rope out of the garage and headed back where the other brother was waiting by their machine. It seems that one of my boys is more adventurous than the other and the driver was the least. So when it came to getting up this grade, they weren’t going fast enough to make it. The machine stopped and slid back, jamming the runners into whatever was there.
We attached the rope around the front runners and then took it up to a tree. Going around the tree, we were going to use basic science to get the runners unstuck. This was fun because I weighed in at 107 pounds then, with each of my boys weighing in at around 80 or 90 pounds. We really were trying to pull the runners out of the “stuck” position, when along came another snowmobiler on this trail. He could see what we were trying to do so he stopped and came over. He leaned over grabbing this machine and lifted it back to where it was supposed to be. I untied the rope. The boys took off as did our assistant and I got to walk home in the snow alone.
Do you have any idea what it is like to lie in the snow under some bushes that are hanging out over the trail covered with “frosting”? The sun hits these crystals and everything around sparkles. It is like living in a crystal world. Then every once in a while a breeze comes along to tease and causes the bushes to sprinkle you with a few flakes right in the face. I saw that shudder when you read this but it is delightful.
Can life really be that simple? Yes, I happen to know that it can because I have been there. What is it about falling backwards into a snow bank or snow pile that is so much fun? There is a sense of trust when one does this. Letting go and allowing the universe to be there for you. Snow is wonderful.
Let me tell you about another snow memory.
My folks were very outgoing people. We had company all the time.
One time we had a skating party for the kids that belonged to the “Y”. Dad had a large skating rink plowed off the lake in front of our house. Then he put a card table out there and on top of it was a very large cardboard box. One side of the box was open and inside the box, Dad put a record player and records. On top of the box, he put a crook-neck lamp that shined a cone of light down on the table. To connect all of this, he ran a line from the ice rink to the house.
Mom was busy making her famous Sloppy Joes and Dad brought home a juice machine that dispensed two different kinds of juice. So we were ready for this party inside and out.
From the living room window we could see Dad setting everything up even though it was starting to snow. It was a light-fine snow that was coming down, the kind that you see on the front of Christmas Cards.
Finally all the kids got there. They put their skates on and headed to the rink. There were about 20 or 30 kids out there skating to the music. Dad skated for a while then went into the house.
Now the funniest thing happened. The snow started coming down a little bit more and if you stood in the living room, looking out the window at the card table on the rink, you would think that no one was out there. All that could be seen was the card table in the circle of light from the lamp. Every once in a while someone would skate into the light to change the record and skate out again. If you went out there and were skating outside the circle, you could see everyone but from the house it looked like no one was there.
I guess they all had a good time and even liked Mom’s cooking because they came back for a dance party that we had at another time.
People who don’t like snow, maybe don’t have nice memories of it. It is never too late to make some new ones.
I have some very wonderful snow memories. In present time, I even make new ones when it snows. When I see it has snowed or is still snowing and the plows haven’t been around, I bundle up into a snowmobile suit along with my boots and go for a walk. I love to have the flakes land on my eyelashes or face. (Such a clean feeling.) Because the road isn’t plowed, I can shuffle along in the snow, never having to pick up my feet. I do a lot of lazy things that I just do because I enjoy doing them.
Sometimes I take a camera with me to capture the beings around me that have been frosted with an inch of snow. The lights and dark contras are wonderful and exciting. These pictures always urge me to get my watercolors out and have fun with them too.
Wandering into a wooded area, I might just “plunk” down in the snow and survey the area around me. Maybe see if I am the first being to be in that area.
I remember one time when the boys had their snowmobile. One of them came home to tell me that they were “stuck” in the woods. I dressed up, got some rope out of the garage and headed back where the other brother was waiting by their machine. It seems that one of my boys is more adventurous than the other and the driver was the least. So when it came to getting up this grade, they weren’t going fast enough to make it. The machine stopped and slid back, jamming the runners into whatever was there.
We attached the rope around the front runners and then took it up to a tree. Going around the tree, we were going to use basic science to get the runners unstuck. This was fun because I weighed in at 107 pounds then, with each of my boys weighing in at around 80 or 90 pounds. We really were trying to pull the runners out of the “stuck” position, when along came another snowmobiler on this trail. He could see what we were trying to do so he stopped and came over. He leaned over grabbing this machine and lifted it back to where it was supposed to be. I untied the rope. The boys took off as did our assistant and I got to walk home in the snow alone.
Do you have any idea what it is like to lie in the snow under some bushes that are hanging out over the trail covered with “frosting”? The sun hits these crystals and everything around sparkles. It is like living in a crystal world. Then every once in a while a breeze comes along to tease and causes the bushes to sprinkle you with a few flakes right in the face. I saw that shudder when you read this but it is delightful.
Can life really be that simple? Yes, I happen to know that it can because I have been there. What is it about falling backwards into a snow bank or snow pile that is so much fun? There is a sense of trust when one does this. Letting go and allowing the universe to be there for you. Snow is wonderful.
Let me tell you about another snow memory.
My folks were very outgoing people. We had company all the time.
One time we had a skating party for the kids that belonged to the “Y”. Dad had a large skating rink plowed off the lake in front of our house. Then he put a card table out there and on top of it was a very large cardboard box. One side of the box was open and inside the box, Dad put a record player and records. On top of the box, he put a crook-neck lamp that shined a cone of light down on the table. To connect all of this, he ran a line from the ice rink to the house.
Mom was busy making her famous Sloppy Joes and Dad brought home a juice machine that dispensed two different kinds of juice. So we were ready for this party inside and out.
From the living room window we could see Dad setting everything up even though it was starting to snow. It was a light-fine snow that was coming down, the kind that you see on the front of Christmas Cards.
Finally all the kids got there. They put their skates on and headed to the rink. There were about 20 or 30 kids out there skating to the music. Dad skated for a while then went into the house.
Now the funniest thing happened. The snow started coming down a little bit more and if you stood in the living room, looking out the window at the card table on the rink, you would think that no one was out there. All that could be seen was the card table in the circle of light from the lamp. Every once in a while someone would skate into the light to change the record and skate out again. If you went out there and were skating outside the circle, you could see everyone but from the house it looked like no one was there.
I guess they all had a good time and even liked Mom’s cooking because they came back for a dance party that we had at another time.
People who don’t like snow, maybe don’t have nice memories of it. It is never too late to make some new ones.
Friday, May 4, 2007
Excerpt from my book
From THE SIMPLICITY OF HERBAL HEALTH
Plants and I have been best friends for a long time. As a small child I would climb a tree when I felt sad or lonely and looked out over the lake where we lived. I never felt that I was hanging on to the tree but that the tree was holding me. It was a comforting feeling. I also went up there when I was in trouble at home but Mom always knew where I was.
We had a small woods next door and to crawl under the bottom branches of a pine tree was a sacred place. It still is. I loved to make trails or harvesting “Summer Homes.” (Bird nests and I collect them even today.)
When I was reading Machaelle Small Wright’s biography, Behaving As If The God In All Life Matters, I got to the part where she started to hear the plants talking to her. She says that she was talking to the “Plant Deva.” When she talked to the plants and they responded to her, I got all excited. So this is when I started to communicate with them.
My first introduction with this way of thinking came from a book called The Magic of Findhorn by Peter Cady about his creation in Scotland. He and two women worked with Nature and were able to grow huge vegetables in sand using the instructions given by Nature.
One fall day, I was lying on the grass, watching the clouds tease the top of my double oak tree. The squirrels were running around collecting nuts. All the neighbors were raking leaves into piles. My husband was washing storm windows. All of this activity made me feel very lazy so I said to the Oak tree of Oakwell, “I bet you know the secret of life?” And I heard, “The secret of life is to make a place of peace and comfort for those around you.” Time out…I just heard from a tree. And yes, isn’t that what every tree does?
Then one day I had a “feeling” that I needed to enlarge the small garden around our two apple trees. So I dug up more lawn around the garden that I now call the Apple Garden. (This garden was first created so my husband wouldn’t have to mow close to these trees) It was early spring and the temperature was in the 40s but I was dressed for it and warm as I pulled the angleworms out of the sod and shook the dirt out. I threw these clumps, along with the stones that I found, onto the lawn. When I had it just the right size, I mixed in some peat moss and some composted manure. It was like mixing biscuit dough. I was so proud of this little garden, so I backed up to look at all of it and in doing so, I saw energy waves rising from the whole area. It looked like it was about to lift off and float into space. I ran into the garage and brought back a cement slab. Then I went around the little garden, picking up all the walnut-sized rocks, putting them on the slab. Then standing back once more, I saw that the energy waves were gone. The area had been grounded. It felt good.
Many years later, our Oak tree became infested with Gypsy Moths. I did a lot of research and called on people from the State Parks Service to help me but because we do not allow sprays on our property, they couldn’t help. My first line of defense was to put molasses in a 4-inch band around the trunk of the oak tree. (Our tree took two jars of the molasses) This slowed the caterpillars down, then we picked them off.
The next thing that I did was to import predators. I found a very small wasp (Trichogramma) that eats these egg masses and lays their eggs inside of the caterpillars. So I imported a lot of them. The tiny wasps came by the 5,000 in a small container where one might put mustard. They looked like pepper when they arrived and I was told to put them by plants that have multiple-tiny flower heads. The front yard Yarrow was just right.
I just finished reading Silent Spring by Rachel Carson. The spraying didn’t stop the Elm problem or the Gypsy Moths on the East Coast in the ‘50s, but did “control” duck and bird populations along with many other small animals in the area. It seems that aerial spraying has never really done the job but it is continued to this day.
My husband wanted to spray the following year and I was torn between saving this huge oak tree and the spraying. I called the Perelandra Nature Research Center and told them about our “War” with the Gypsy Moths. The first thing that they told me was “STOP WARRING.” I was told to find out from the moths what they would need to stay healthy and not over-run the tree and what the tree would need to stay healthy and handle this invasion.
Listening to plants can be fun and informative. When they have communicated, at first I thought I was talking to myself but I was getting information about things of which I had no knowledge. One of the most important and prevalent things that they would tell me was “we are one.” Always the “We are one” and I have tried to incorporate this into my way of thinking. It is not you and I, it is we. Plants and animals (people included in this) are the beings on this planet. We are all one.
I also found out that they like our energy. They like to be given time to assimilate information. If a tree is to be cut down, a three-day notice is required for the spirit of that plant to leave. I know that most of you will find this strange but we need to treat these being as our brothers, remembering that without them, we cannot breath. It is time that we start to respect all living things. We have not been doing that for a very long time but then most people that I know even take their close family relationships lightly.
Recently, we have been having long periods of drought in our area. Not to the point of losing plants but where a lot of things like Wild Ginger and my mints are drooping. In Penny Kelly’s book, ROBES…she said, “Trees and vegetation are other critical elements in moderating and controlling electromagnetic fields, and therefore the wind. Trees are themselves producers of magnetic fields, and their fields interact with the magnetically charged pockets of air and land in two main ways.
One is that they keep air moving through sheer intelligence. Trees are intelligent beings capable of shifting the electromagnetic signature of the E-M fields they produce. Thus, they are capable of attracting air pockets containing moisture when they are dry and want something to drink.”
After reading this, I told my large trees, Oak, Maple, and Locust, that they were not doing their job. They are supposed to bring in rain for the other beings around them. I gave them quite a tongue-lashing and to my surprise, within 24 hours, we got water. First, it was a sprinkle, followed by an all-day easy rain. Boy, did I feel foolish. Then I had to go out and apologize to them. It didn’t make any difference what the weatherman had to say about the situation, as they had been promising rain for a week but the trees really did it.
It is my belief that we were not given dominion over, but were put here to co-create with nature. We have not been doing that for a very long time. Maybe some of the good books need to be rewritten?
Plants and I have been best friends for a long time. As a small child I would climb a tree when I felt sad or lonely and looked out over the lake where we lived. I never felt that I was hanging on to the tree but that the tree was holding me. It was a comforting feeling. I also went up there when I was in trouble at home but Mom always knew where I was.
We had a small woods next door and to crawl under the bottom branches of a pine tree was a sacred place. It still is. I loved to make trails or harvesting “Summer Homes.” (Bird nests and I collect them even today.)
When I was reading Machaelle Small Wright’s biography, Behaving As If The God In All Life Matters, I got to the part where she started to hear the plants talking to her. She says that she was talking to the “Plant Deva.” When she talked to the plants and they responded to her, I got all excited. So this is when I started to communicate with them.
My first introduction with this way of thinking came from a book called The Magic of Findhorn by Peter Cady about his creation in Scotland. He and two women worked with Nature and were able to grow huge vegetables in sand using the instructions given by Nature.
One fall day, I was lying on the grass, watching the clouds tease the top of my double oak tree. The squirrels were running around collecting nuts. All the neighbors were raking leaves into piles. My husband was washing storm windows. All of this activity made me feel very lazy so I said to the Oak tree of Oakwell, “I bet you know the secret of life?” And I heard, “The secret of life is to make a place of peace and comfort for those around you.” Time out…I just heard from a tree. And yes, isn’t that what every tree does?
Then one day I had a “feeling” that I needed to enlarge the small garden around our two apple trees. So I dug up more lawn around the garden that I now call the Apple Garden. (This garden was first created so my husband wouldn’t have to mow close to these trees) It was early spring and the temperature was in the 40s but I was dressed for it and warm as I pulled the angleworms out of the sod and shook the dirt out. I threw these clumps, along with the stones that I found, onto the lawn. When I had it just the right size, I mixed in some peat moss and some composted manure. It was like mixing biscuit dough. I was so proud of this little garden, so I backed up to look at all of it and in doing so, I saw energy waves rising from the whole area. It looked like it was about to lift off and float into space. I ran into the garage and brought back a cement slab. Then I went around the little garden, picking up all the walnut-sized rocks, putting them on the slab. Then standing back once more, I saw that the energy waves were gone. The area had been grounded. It felt good.
Many years later, our Oak tree became infested with Gypsy Moths. I did a lot of research and called on people from the State Parks Service to help me but because we do not allow sprays on our property, they couldn’t help. My first line of defense was to put molasses in a 4-inch band around the trunk of the oak tree. (Our tree took two jars of the molasses) This slowed the caterpillars down, then we picked them off.
The next thing that I did was to import predators. I found a very small wasp (Trichogramma) that eats these egg masses and lays their eggs inside of the caterpillars. So I imported a lot of them. The tiny wasps came by the 5,000 in a small container where one might put mustard. They looked like pepper when they arrived and I was told to put them by plants that have multiple-tiny flower heads. The front yard Yarrow was just right.
I just finished reading Silent Spring by Rachel Carson. The spraying didn’t stop the Elm problem or the Gypsy Moths on the East Coast in the ‘50s, but did “control” duck and bird populations along with many other small animals in the area. It seems that aerial spraying has never really done the job but it is continued to this day.
My husband wanted to spray the following year and I was torn between saving this huge oak tree and the spraying. I called the Perelandra Nature Research Center and told them about our “War” with the Gypsy Moths. The first thing that they told me was “STOP WARRING.” I was told to find out from the moths what they would need to stay healthy and not over-run the tree and what the tree would need to stay healthy and handle this invasion.
Listening to plants can be fun and informative. When they have communicated, at first I thought I was talking to myself but I was getting information about things of which I had no knowledge. One of the most important and prevalent things that they would tell me was “we are one.” Always the “We are one” and I have tried to incorporate this into my way of thinking. It is not you and I, it is we. Plants and animals (people included in this) are the beings on this planet. We are all one.
I also found out that they like our energy. They like to be given time to assimilate information. If a tree is to be cut down, a three-day notice is required for the spirit of that plant to leave. I know that most of you will find this strange but we need to treat these being as our brothers, remembering that without them, we cannot breath. It is time that we start to respect all living things. We have not been doing that for a very long time but then most people that I know even take their close family relationships lightly.
Recently, we have been having long periods of drought in our area. Not to the point of losing plants but where a lot of things like Wild Ginger and my mints are drooping. In Penny Kelly’s book, ROBES…she said, “Trees and vegetation are other critical elements in moderating and controlling electromagnetic fields, and therefore the wind. Trees are themselves producers of magnetic fields, and their fields interact with the magnetically charged pockets of air and land in two main ways.
One is that they keep air moving through sheer intelligence. Trees are intelligent beings capable of shifting the electromagnetic signature of the E-M fields they produce. Thus, they are capable of attracting air pockets containing moisture when they are dry and want something to drink.”
After reading this, I told my large trees, Oak, Maple, and Locust, that they were not doing their job. They are supposed to bring in rain for the other beings around them. I gave them quite a tongue-lashing and to my surprise, within 24 hours, we got water. First, it was a sprinkle, followed by an all-day easy rain. Boy, did I feel foolish. Then I had to go out and apologize to them. It didn’t make any difference what the weatherman had to say about the situation, as they had been promising rain for a week but the trees really did it.
It is my belief that we were not given dominion over, but were put here to co-create with nature. We have not been doing that for a very long time. Maybe some of the good books need to be rewritten?
Thursday, May 3, 2007
The San Francisco Fire
A lot of you have heard about the 1906 Earthquake/fire in San Francisco. Now I get to tell you about the San Francisco fire that I know about.
Caroline and I worked in Dr. Bessemer’s medical office. We were both single parents so from time to time, we would pile our crews into a car and go somewhere. One time we took them to a mountain reservoir and went swimming. Another time we took them to the lake to play in the sand.
At work a lot of sales people came in as representatives of drug companies to tell the Doctor about their latest drug. One of these reps. was a man named Jack. Jack came in every other week. He lived in San Francisco and we were just another client for him. He started flirting with Caroline. To get to Caroline, he had to talk past me. Caroline was the medical transcriber. She didn’t have access to the people coming and going. When I would see Jack coming, I would suggest that perhaps Caroline could go to the storeroom and bring back something for the office. This took her out of the front area and they could talk in the back.
Jack had asked Caroline to come to San Francisco for a weekend. He did this every time that he came through. She didn’t want to go by herself so she kept trying to talk me into going with her. Finally I told her that maybe we could.
Caroline had two boys and I have two boys and a daughter. My idea was that we could take the kids with us (Neither of us had anyone to leave them with) and get a motel room where my daughter could baby sit.
It was agreed, so we took off one Saturday morning. When we got to San Francisco, we found an old motel that had two rooms together. One had a very large bed in it and the other had twin beds. Between the rooms was a set of French doors. The room with the twin beds was the only one with an outside door. We were on the second floor so it was perfect.
We went to Jack’s house. He was renting a little cottage-type house in an older section of town with a friend of his. (I know, we think all San Francisco houses are attached to each other but they aren’t.) There was a very small fenced in front yard and a porch. The living room was really tiny. OK so all the rooms were tiny. It was a tiny house. When we arrived, I think we overwhelmed Jack. He suggested that we feed the kids first and then the adults could eat in the tiny dining room and relax. He had made spaghetti and the kids loved this.
When they were done eating, we sent them into the living room. One wall of the living room was an entertainment center. Across the room was a sofa with large pillows sitting against the back. There was another chair in the room but with 5 children, the room was even tinier.
Jack wanted to take Caroline to a couple of Irish pubs that he knew about so he followed us to the motel. My teenage daughter was going to keep an eye on everything and I told her that I would call her every hour to make sure everything was OK.
We went to the first place that Jack wanted to “show off” Caroline. I had the feeling that he went there often.
After an hour went by, I went to the phone and called my daughter. She told me that the boys were in the large bedroom jumping on the bed and having fun. She told them that they had to watch the TV in that room because the one in the twin bed room was her’s. It sounded like everything was fine.
Caroline was having a great time so I just enjoyed the ride. After all this is why we came. I knew before I came that I was the chaperon.
I called my daughter an hour later and she told me that Caroline’s boys were in bed and that she was getting our boys into their sleeping bags. We had agreed that Caroline would have the big bed with her boys and my family would sleep in the twin bed room. The boys on the floor, with my daughter in the twin bed by the wall. I would have the bed by the door.
It was probably midnight when we called it a night and Jack took us back to the motel. I went in so they could have some private time. I got ready for bed and was climbing in when Caroline came up. She seemed pleased with the evening. I was glad that we had done this, as Caroline is usually very shy.
About an hour or so later there was a knock on our door. I put my bathrobe on and went to the door. There was Jack or someone that looked like Jack. He was white as a sheet and said, “I have to talk to Caroline.” My first thought was “What a line.” I told Jack that she was sleeping and he should come back tomorrow. In a zombie-like voice, he said, “My house burned down.” I wasn’t sure that I heard it so I asked him again what he had said. He said it again, “ My house burned down.” I took him by the shoulders and walked him into the room. I turned him around and sat him on the edge of my bed. Then I went to get Caroline.
I told Caroline to get up, that Jack was out in my room and she told me that she was trying to sleep. I told her that she had to come, it was an emergency. We both work in a medical clinic so we know about that word. She climbed over her boys and came out.
She talked to him and asked what happened. He said that when he got home, there were no lights on anywhere. So he went to the steps of the porch and started up them but they crunched. He bent down to see what was crunching. He found all sorts of pieces of wood but couldn’t see anything so he used his hands to find the steps and there were only a couple of them. The rest were gone.
What was upsetting him the most was that he didn’t know where his roommate was? He had gone to a few of their friend’s houses but didn’t know if Brian was hurt or not. Jack was in shock.
I pulled the covers back on my twin bed and we helped him lie down. He kept saying that he had to find Brian. We told him that he could do that in the morning. Caroline kept talking to him until she thought he had fallen asleep. I climbed in the other twin bed with my daughter.
Jack was up very early, I am not sure that he really did sleep. He said that he had to go and still in this semi-panic, he left. After he left, I told Caroline that we had to feed the kids first and then we could go over to the house.
The house was totally destroyed. I walked up to the front of it and I could tell where the major fire had been. In this tiny living room was a floor furnace. The wall behind and around that area was missing studs. The rest of the house had lost the sheet rock and you could see through all the walls but the studs were still there. The kitchen was like the dining room and all the studs were bare but standing in every place but that one part of the living room.
It hit me like a brick. The kids were in the living room before we left to go back to the motel. The living room was tiny for 5 children so they had taken some of the large pillows and were sitting on them. When we left to go to the motel, no one checked on the pillows that were probably still sitting on the floor furnace. Jack wouldn’t have checked that because he didn’t have children. We started a San Francisco Fire.
We left for home soon after because we knew that Jack wasn’t coming back. We found out later that Brian was OK. Jack left the area and his job. The next time Caroline heard from him, he was in Mexico.
Sometimes it is the little things that change people’s lives forever.
Caroline and I worked in Dr. Bessemer’s medical office. We were both single parents so from time to time, we would pile our crews into a car and go somewhere. One time we took them to a mountain reservoir and went swimming. Another time we took them to the lake to play in the sand.
At work a lot of sales people came in as representatives of drug companies to tell the Doctor about their latest drug. One of these reps. was a man named Jack. Jack came in every other week. He lived in San Francisco and we were just another client for him. He started flirting with Caroline. To get to Caroline, he had to talk past me. Caroline was the medical transcriber. She didn’t have access to the people coming and going. When I would see Jack coming, I would suggest that perhaps Caroline could go to the storeroom and bring back something for the office. This took her out of the front area and they could talk in the back.
Jack had asked Caroline to come to San Francisco for a weekend. He did this every time that he came through. She didn’t want to go by herself so she kept trying to talk me into going with her. Finally I told her that maybe we could.
Caroline had two boys and I have two boys and a daughter. My idea was that we could take the kids with us (Neither of us had anyone to leave them with) and get a motel room where my daughter could baby sit.
It was agreed, so we took off one Saturday morning. When we got to San Francisco, we found an old motel that had two rooms together. One had a very large bed in it and the other had twin beds. Between the rooms was a set of French doors. The room with the twin beds was the only one with an outside door. We were on the second floor so it was perfect.
We went to Jack’s house. He was renting a little cottage-type house in an older section of town with a friend of his. (I know, we think all San Francisco houses are attached to each other but they aren’t.) There was a very small fenced in front yard and a porch. The living room was really tiny. OK so all the rooms were tiny. It was a tiny house. When we arrived, I think we overwhelmed Jack. He suggested that we feed the kids first and then the adults could eat in the tiny dining room and relax. He had made spaghetti and the kids loved this.
When they were done eating, we sent them into the living room. One wall of the living room was an entertainment center. Across the room was a sofa with large pillows sitting against the back. There was another chair in the room but with 5 children, the room was even tinier.
Jack wanted to take Caroline to a couple of Irish pubs that he knew about so he followed us to the motel. My teenage daughter was going to keep an eye on everything and I told her that I would call her every hour to make sure everything was OK.
We went to the first place that Jack wanted to “show off” Caroline. I had the feeling that he went there often.
After an hour went by, I went to the phone and called my daughter. She told me that the boys were in the large bedroom jumping on the bed and having fun. She told them that they had to watch the TV in that room because the one in the twin bed room was her’s. It sounded like everything was fine.
Caroline was having a great time so I just enjoyed the ride. After all this is why we came. I knew before I came that I was the chaperon.
I called my daughter an hour later and she told me that Caroline’s boys were in bed and that she was getting our boys into their sleeping bags. We had agreed that Caroline would have the big bed with her boys and my family would sleep in the twin bed room. The boys on the floor, with my daughter in the twin bed by the wall. I would have the bed by the door.
It was probably midnight when we called it a night and Jack took us back to the motel. I went in so they could have some private time. I got ready for bed and was climbing in when Caroline came up. She seemed pleased with the evening. I was glad that we had done this, as Caroline is usually very shy.
About an hour or so later there was a knock on our door. I put my bathrobe on and went to the door. There was Jack or someone that looked like Jack. He was white as a sheet and said, “I have to talk to Caroline.” My first thought was “What a line.” I told Jack that she was sleeping and he should come back tomorrow. In a zombie-like voice, he said, “My house burned down.” I wasn’t sure that I heard it so I asked him again what he had said. He said it again, “ My house burned down.” I took him by the shoulders and walked him into the room. I turned him around and sat him on the edge of my bed. Then I went to get Caroline.
I told Caroline to get up, that Jack was out in my room and she told me that she was trying to sleep. I told her that she had to come, it was an emergency. We both work in a medical clinic so we know about that word. She climbed over her boys and came out.
She talked to him and asked what happened. He said that when he got home, there were no lights on anywhere. So he went to the steps of the porch and started up them but they crunched. He bent down to see what was crunching. He found all sorts of pieces of wood but couldn’t see anything so he used his hands to find the steps and there were only a couple of them. The rest were gone.
What was upsetting him the most was that he didn’t know where his roommate was? He had gone to a few of their friend’s houses but didn’t know if Brian was hurt or not. Jack was in shock.
I pulled the covers back on my twin bed and we helped him lie down. He kept saying that he had to find Brian. We told him that he could do that in the morning. Caroline kept talking to him until she thought he had fallen asleep. I climbed in the other twin bed with my daughter.
Jack was up very early, I am not sure that he really did sleep. He said that he had to go and still in this semi-panic, he left. After he left, I told Caroline that we had to feed the kids first and then we could go over to the house.
The house was totally destroyed. I walked up to the front of it and I could tell where the major fire had been. In this tiny living room was a floor furnace. The wall behind and around that area was missing studs. The rest of the house had lost the sheet rock and you could see through all the walls but the studs were still there. The kitchen was like the dining room and all the studs were bare but standing in every place but that one part of the living room.
It hit me like a brick. The kids were in the living room before we left to go back to the motel. The living room was tiny for 5 children so they had taken some of the large pillows and were sitting on them. When we left to go to the motel, no one checked on the pillows that were probably still sitting on the floor furnace. Jack wouldn’t have checked that because he didn’t have children. We started a San Francisco Fire.
We left for home soon after because we knew that Jack wasn’t coming back. We found out later that Brian was OK. Jack left the area and his job. The next time Caroline heard from him, he was in Mexico.
Sometimes it is the little things that change people’s lives forever.
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
The Health Store
This is a dream that I had. I think you will enjoy it.
This Health Store is just like all the Health Food Stores that I have been in. The shelves are lined with jars and bottles of every kind. I haven’t checked any of them out but as I walk in the friendly clerk comes up to me and asks if he can help me find something. He is in his late 40s and has a wonderful smile.
I told him that I am an herbalist and a dowser so I have been check out my heart because it seems to be working very hard. When I dowsed for calcium, I get a “no.” So I have checked for other problems of the heart like cholesterol and even virus but can’t put my finger on just what is happening.
He looks at me and then says, “I think I have something over here.” I follow him to an other area in the store. “Now you could take this in tonic form but I think getting a lot in right away would be good so capsules would probably be better.” He holds out a bottle of LOSS. Then he says, “I can see that three very important people left your life almost two years ago now. We are having a lot of people going through this.”
I take the bottle and follow him to the counter while thinking that maybe I should mention my hip problem. So I say, "I have been working with my left hip too. It seems to bother me from time to time. I have been using White Oak to make sure that I am getting enough useable calcium in and my nails grow like mad but from time to time my hip seems to want my attention.”
While standing behind the counter with his back turned to me, he pulls a jar off the shelf and starts to hand it to me. He mentions that he thinks this would be helpful. I ask him what is in it. He pulls the jar back and starts to read the ingredients. “Ego boost, Worthiness, Self esteem, and Love.” Then hands the jar back to me. I see that the label says, “Unappreciated.”
All of this seems targeted to my specific needs so why not ask him about the rash on my ankle. I do and he sort of blows that off. “That’s easy.” He laughs, “ Its basic anger. From what I am looking at, you have some very basic anger and I think we can find the right crème to handle that over here.” He moves to his left and starts to pull one jar off the shelf, then puts it back and pulls out another jar. “I think this one would be most helpful.” I look at the Jar and it is labeled, “Nieces Anger.” Then he says that if that one doesn’t work to come back and he will switch it for one of the other "anger" jars.
I thank him and walk out.
As I walk down the street I realize that none of my present time problems are really physical. I find that very interesting. Here I have been treating them like they were with all my herbie stuff.
I wonder if most of our physical stuff is really physical or just the junk that we have been living with. I get e-mails about getting old and how we have to live with our aches and pains, but do we? And even if we do, perhaps they aren’t something that we can take a pill for?
What kind of balm do you need to function in your world? Can we clean out all the junk that we seem to have taken on for no real reason?
This Health Store is just like all the Health Food Stores that I have been in. The shelves are lined with jars and bottles of every kind. I haven’t checked any of them out but as I walk in the friendly clerk comes up to me and asks if he can help me find something. He is in his late 40s and has a wonderful smile.
I told him that I am an herbalist and a dowser so I have been check out my heart because it seems to be working very hard. When I dowsed for calcium, I get a “no.” So I have checked for other problems of the heart like cholesterol and even virus but can’t put my finger on just what is happening.
He looks at me and then says, “I think I have something over here.” I follow him to an other area in the store. “Now you could take this in tonic form but I think getting a lot in right away would be good so capsules would probably be better.” He holds out a bottle of LOSS. Then he says, “I can see that three very important people left your life almost two years ago now. We are having a lot of people going through this.”
I take the bottle and follow him to the counter while thinking that maybe I should mention my hip problem. So I say, "I have been working with my left hip too. It seems to bother me from time to time. I have been using White Oak to make sure that I am getting enough useable calcium in and my nails grow like mad but from time to time my hip seems to want my attention.”
While standing behind the counter with his back turned to me, he pulls a jar off the shelf and starts to hand it to me. He mentions that he thinks this would be helpful. I ask him what is in it. He pulls the jar back and starts to read the ingredients. “Ego boost, Worthiness, Self esteem, and Love.” Then hands the jar back to me. I see that the label says, “Unappreciated.”
All of this seems targeted to my specific needs so why not ask him about the rash on my ankle. I do and he sort of blows that off. “That’s easy.” He laughs, “ Its basic anger. From what I am looking at, you have some very basic anger and I think we can find the right crème to handle that over here.” He moves to his left and starts to pull one jar off the shelf, then puts it back and pulls out another jar. “I think this one would be most helpful.” I look at the Jar and it is labeled, “Nieces Anger.” Then he says that if that one doesn’t work to come back and he will switch it for one of the other "anger" jars.
I thank him and walk out.
As I walk down the street I realize that none of my present time problems are really physical. I find that very interesting. Here I have been treating them like they were with all my herbie stuff.
I wonder if most of our physical stuff is really physical or just the junk that we have been living with. I get e-mails about getting old and how we have to live with our aches and pains, but do we? And even if we do, perhaps they aren’t something that we can take a pill for?
What kind of balm do you need to function in your world? Can we clean out all the junk that we seem to have taken on for no real reason?
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