Life For Dummies

I just got a new computer and a Windows for Dummies book. How I wish that there was a Life for Dummies book to show me how to correct the things in my life that I am not pleased with. Wouldn’t it be great if we could “customize” the things in our lives or even “reset” something to be more to our liking? Life just doesn’t seem to happen that way.

Someone sets a program and we have to learn to adjust. Why do we have to learn to adjust to their program? I guess the alternative is to “read the book” as my son, Loren is always telling me. If you know how something works, it is a lot easier. Here in lies the problem, we don’t always know how it works.

My biggest problem is that I don’t always understand what is being said. Trying to figure out the lexicon is the hard part. What did that mean? How does that work? What is expected from me now? Sometimes we don’t even get words to help us figure things out in life. We only get actions. From an action we are supposed to sort out what our reaction should be. Do I walk on eggs? Do I keep probing to find out what it was that I don’t understand? Did I miss a pop-up that told me what to do?

One of the strangest things that happens is when you know that something has happened before and you try to remember how you dealt with it the last time. I guess when one hasn’t had to deal with an issue for a while, it is hard to remember how to straighten it up again. Sometimes just trying to figure out why it happened or what I did that created the situation is a puzzle. (Good thing that I like puzzles.)

When one opens the Life for Dummies book, the first chapter might be: Things that you are supposed to know and understand. (But no one really does.) We take a stab at everything and what we are dealing with for the most part we have to learn from the beginning.

I guess in that first chapter, they would start with relationships. It seems to be the biggest part of life. When one is a small child everyone is trying to socialize you. The first things to learn is about sharing, playing together and being a part of a group. We learn that people like to be together when everyone interacts nicely. So how do we program this into life? Play the game?

I heard an interview on TV given by a person from the Supreme Court, talking about how she managed a career and a home at the same time. She said that her best advice came from her Mother-in-law who told her to be deaf to most things in her marriage and everything would work out. I found that most interesting. Not sure that I could follow that but have been accused of not listening, so maybe I am already good at it.

Today a friend told me that sometimes we don’t understand relationships because they become unbalanced. One member is doing all the giving and the other member is doing all the receiving. A relationship like this creates tension. Relationships need to be in balance or resentment will be felt by both sides.

Yes, that is definitely the first chapter. One can get a things really messed up if one doesn’t know what they are doing. I wonder if there is a default button that one could press to start over and clean up what is out of order?

The second chapter might be about: How to do and complete things. Sometimes doing something can create an adjustment to a situation. Without communication, the systems will try to do the project but can not see it to completion. Here is where an instructions book would really come in handy. Then one could just look at page 13 and see that if I did this, that would happen or if I did that, it would happen in a different way. One would have a choice and understand the correct way to get a project completed. Without the manual, we struggle along trying to make things work. We fumble and have to re-adjust so many times that the system has trouble figuring out what we intend to do or create.

It is at about this phase in a project that the computer just freezes up and refuses to continue until it is rebooted. If we try to force the system when it is in this mode, it will not be happy in the future. In fact, I have found that unless one walks away for a while, the system will lose a lot of what it had been able to do. So backing off is a good idea. This allows everything to mellow and be ready for booting up at a later time. Sometimes it has been known to correct itself. Maybe it just needed time to get everything sorted out.

In the meantime, one must continue with life in whatever manner is best. When dealing with life, as when dealing with computers, study is needed to become more proficient in any area. But it sure would help to have a manual to read from time to time just to make sure that one is doing the right thing.

If you understand your manual, you are way ahead of the game. It is my experience that everyone received a different version of the book, making life a challenge for all of us. Just remember the secret is to walk away. Don’t try to reboot immediately. OK, so that is my experience.

Those of you with words of wisdom on how to understand PC (personal communication), please publish in my e-mail so that I can learn a little more about the game of life.