Machines

Could someone explain why machines are angry with me at this time? It isn't like I blamed my car for hurting me when it bumped me out of its way. Lately machines seem to be angry with me.

The first time I really didn't notice that this was directed at me. Two weeks after I got hurt, our new computer was having a problem. We called the Geek Squad and a man came out. He said that he could do something temporarily but that we needed more tests.

So we took the unit in and they ran the tests. We got a call that the Mother-board was cracked. That didn't mean a lot to us as users but when we mentioned this to computer people, they looked at us like we are violent people who throw things around all the time. "Who cracks a mother-board?"

We had to send in our tower and get it fixed. We were told that it would take a couple of weeks but it really took a month.

After getting the computer back, it started acting up. It told us that we had stolen our windows program. So then I contacted Hewlett-Packard, the makers who had repaired this newly purchased computer. After talking to three people who live somewhere in India, none of whom could solve this problem, I couldn't even get into any windows program, it was suggested that I contact Microsoft.

I contacted Microsoft and they wanted to know what number was on the back of my computer. I gave them all the numbers that I found and they weren't the right ones. Finally I found one that was acceptable and it took. We are now back in business with this machine.

The next machine that decided to alter my life was a credit card machine in a store. The customer in front of me couldn't make it work so I stood there and stood there. Finally the manager came over and asked the line of people to use another check-out counter. We did. As long as I was in that store, they never did get that machine to work.

From there I decided to get some gas for my vehicle. I drove up to the pump. Put the hose into the gas tank opening and pressed one of the three options that I had for gas prices. Nothing happened but the pump did tell me to press the pay-method key. I press "inside". Nothing happened. $29.00 was still on the top of the machine from a previous customer. So I did it again. Still nothing happened. OK, I will try something else to wake this machine up. I pressed "Here" and it automatically asked for my credit card. I pushed "cancel" and tried the "inside" button again, after all the machine was apparently working, but nothing happened. So after trying it several times with no success, I walked inside to tell the clerk that this old lady can't seem to talk to their machine.

She came out with me and had the same problems that I was having. She tried several times. I asked if I should back up to another pump. She said, "No." Then she went inside and dug up a man that must have been in the back. He came out and just touched that machine and it worked. OK, so I was dealing with a female machine who just didn't like other women.

How does one find out if a machine is male or female?

This sounds like the question I got asked many years ago by my four-year-old Grandson as we were walking back from the park. He had just told me that he wanted to grow up and own a zoo. The question was, "Grandma, how do I know if I have a Mother and a Father lion?" My answer was, "I think one has to go school and study to find out these things, but you might ask your Daddy sometime."

So are there schools where I can learn the sex of a machine?