I have found myself on the other side of the hill. It is a nice place to be and it is interesting what I have found that is there.
For those of you who do not know what a Bell Curve is, it was explained to me by a social worker that I worked with many years ago on the Crisis Hot-line. At the time I had custody of my mother and her actions and reactions were very strange. I mentioned this to the social worker and she asked me if I knew about the Bell Curve?
Well, I had never heard of it so she told me about it. She said that the way our lives travel is in an arc that has the look of a silhouette of a bell. It starts out on the bottom on one side at birth and as one becomes active and more able, it progresses up the side of the bell until it reaches the very top. This top could happen at any time in your life when you have felt the very best and most capable ever. How wide this bell is depends on your abilities. At some point you start stepping slowly down the other side of the bell until the very bottom is Death.
We talked about some of Mother's actions and the social worker asked if I knew anyone who is alive who knew her when she was little, like an older brother or sister. I didn't. She explained that both sides of the bell are similar in actions. Perhaps when Mother was little she wouldn't stay in bed at night either? Or some of her childhood fears could be peeking out again…she didn't like when it started to get dark at night.
Well, that’s the history so now I get to talk about the reality. For the past two years I have wanted to have parties. Before this time, life was OK but now I wanted to have people over to do things. We started slowly. At first I would haul one of my neighbors over for something cool to drink. Vern laughed because if someone we knew walked by, I would kidnap them. (In our neighborhood there is always someone just out walking or walking a dog)
Next, I organized a neighborhood ice cream social on the patio. Vern thought the whole thing was so unnecessary. I could understand this because he is working full time and seeing at least 20 people a day to talk to, while I paint, garden, or read by myself.
After the party was over, Vern thought it was great.
So the next year I organized a Couples Ice Cream Social at our house. We invited just couples that we really liked. It turned out great. This time I didn't get as much static as I had the year before.
Before we continue this, I have to tell you that as a teenager, my family was very outgoing and we had company every weekend. We lived on the edge of an 8 mile lake and we were very involved with many organizations in school and church. Have I reached that portion of my bell curve?
This year I turned 70 years old so I gave myself a girl's party. I invited 20 ladies that I really enjoy being around along with a couple of relatives and some neighbors. I made it into a children's party and called it my Chocolate Party. We had lots of chocolate cakes and cookies that my friends brought along with fudge and I had chocolate candy sitting all over the place. To balance some of this out, we had a fruit tray and a veggie tray with dips. We had nuts and pickles and cranberry punch. There was coffee and your choice of 10 teas.
It was perfect because my friend, Linda consented to host the game that I had, called ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A 5TH GRADER. At first some of my friends were a little nervous about this because they didn't want to have anyone laugh at them. As the party went along, they got into it and decided that you don't have to know "Which is the other river in the United States besides the Mississippi that is more than 2000 miles long".
Everyone was having such a great time. My friends come from all the different areas of my life, they wanted to know how the other person had met me. They formed a circle and they went around the room telling where and how they met me. After each person said something, I got to say a little about them that they hadn't shared with the group. They are all very talented people. They did get a little carried away and I had to tell them that I don't do miracles but then they are my friends.
When it was time to open my presents, I saw the bell curve in its fullest. I was handed a package and I would try to open it. I have a left hand that works but doesn't always do what I want it to. The friends sitting on either side of me, asked if they could help but 10 year old Phyllis said, "No, I can do it."
I have a feeling that is just how I was when I was little. I can dress myself! I can tie my shoes! I can do whatever I need to do! I don't need help, I can do it! I guess being the oldest of three children under the age of four, I decided then and there that I wasn't a baby. Even now I figure out how to do something rather than wait until Vern gets home from work to help.
One friend did hand me a pair of scissors to cut ribbon and paper but most of the time I made my fingers work at it. I can do it!
Where this is going to take me, I don't know, but I have seen pictures of myself when I was very little and I was a chunky little person. Didn't lose my "baby fat" until I got into kindergarten. I do know that I need to be around people so guess this isn't the last of the parties.
My friends told me that they want to come back and do an all-day brunch on 11/11/2011. I told them that I think that would be just great. So I have a big party taking place in four years. I wonder if I will have collected more interesting friends by then? Why not?
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
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